Happy Valentine's Day to Me

So Eric & Garielle came home from Shabbat school yesterday -Eric was lugging a big box into the house. It's an early Valentine's Day present, he explained.

What was it? A compound mitre saw. Ha ha ha! Now I'm committed to following through on this do-it-yourself streak I seem to be on!

Michael Jackson and white design trends

The two aren't related, but it makes a catchy blog title, don't you think?

First of all, let me say that I'm short on time and short on common sense. I have only a couple of hours to take a shower, whip the house into shape, and get a bunch of things done before Garielle's play date arrives. I have no time for this blog entry.

So I was reading in the paper this morning that Michael Jackson is coming back to the U.S. Yes, this made the news, somehow.

I don't know why every fart this man toots is something of interest to the media. Is it something of interest to the public? One might say that it is, otherwise the media wouldn't run it.

The truth is, I'm an admirer of Jackson. I won't go so far as to say I'm a "fan," because I don't own any of his CD's. (Okay, I did pay to download some of his tunes off the internet, but that's it.) But to say that his music isn't totally rockin' and to say that he's not a major talent is to tell a lie. I totally dig his music and his videos. And I think as he aged, he got better. Sure, he's a little weird looking, but that's not a crime. A lot of people are weird looking.

Jackson personally? I don't want to know.

In fact, I hate meeting "stars" in person. I have no interest in knowing what they're "really" like - unless of course they're exceptional, such as passionately philanthropic about an interesting cause, or committed to some noble principle. But I don't have that expectation of stars, and I'm not not disappointed when they're just plain old people. Because you know what? Most of them are.

I just want to enjoy the fruits of their talent.

Of course, if we happen to run into each other at a cocktail party or a fundraiser (because I go to so many of these where stars are present, you know), and if they happen to be interesting people, sure, I'd like to get to know them, just as I would be interested in getting to know an interesting person who is totally anonymous.

What I'd really like is for Michael Jackson to get back into the studio and make some more music and some more videos.

"Oh, but what about the time he jeopardized the safety of his baby by dangling it over the balcony?"

Yes, that was bad, bad, bad. He really shouldn't have done that. Thank God nothing happened, and perhaps upon reflection, Jackson regrets that.

Any parents out there? (show of hands) Okay, when Garielle was probably a little too young for it, I put her in the "big" bathtub to see how she would do, instead of her little plastic baby bathtub. She was able to sit up well, and the water wasn't very deep. Nevertheless, she was nervous.

After she seemed more okay, I turned my back on her to attend to something on the counter, and she said "Mommy, Mommy!" I said "You're okay, sweetheart," but I didn't turn around. She cried "Mommy!" again, so I turned around. She had accidentally lopped forward into the water. Thank GOD her head was turned to the side so her face wasn't submerged. She wasn't able to pull herself back up to a sitting position.

If she had her face forward, she would have drowned.

Someone told me that every child seems to give their parents one "warning" incident, and if you ignore it, the next time is fatal. I don't know if that's true or not, but that was my warning. Believe me, I was MUCH MUCH MUCH more conscientious after that.

Am I stupid? Am I a bad parent? No to both. My IQ tests above "genius" level (it's true, which is why everything I do is sheer genius - ha!), and I think I'm a pretty good parent.

Anyway, this is why I can't crucify Jackson for the balcony incident. Yes, it was a lapse of judgement, and it was a dangerous one. But thank god it's okay.

On to the next topic:

I also read in the paper that it's official - the design trend is the "absence of color." According to the article, taken from USA Today, we've had so many years of being bathed in all that color that white is "refreshing."

No it's not.

All that white is boring. It's like looking at an endless maxi-pad. It's sterile. It's even a little frightening. ("Am I in Heaven? Dang, it's dull.")

I'm going forward with my red room, damn it. Maybe in five years, I'll be tired of being bathed in all that color, and I might "refresh" by going white. We'll see.

Light at the end of the tunnel

I haven't felt good all month. It's been frustrating, because I haven't been nearly as productive as I want to be, and I haven't been to the gym, either.

So I finally took a sick day yesterday. Today, I feel better than I've felt for weeks. I'm not quite to 100% yet, but I'm really happy that I seem to be on the upswing. Feeling sick is so annoying, and I just hate it. I have too much to do for that crap.

I hope to find time this weekend to finish ripping that carpet out of Garielle's closet. It seems every weekend gets taken over by other priorities. For instance, this weekend we have visitors on Saturday, and we have to finish Garielle's school project on Sunday, and Sunday evening we have dinner plans. So Saturday morning I have to use to get the house tidied up. Maybe Saturday evening I can do some work while Garielle watches a movie. (Eric has a concert to attend.) Or maybe Sunday morning.

I really want to get at that bedroom so I can start putting the shoe molding in. Eric & I agreed that I should go ahead & buy this compound mitre saw that is on sale at Canadian Tire. I know that I don't need it for shoe molding, but it would certainly give me the opportunity to play with it and see how it works.

Have I posted in here about my frustrating at getting into a woodworking class? I finally found one, an all-day Saturday thing, coming up in Feb. I was prepared to sign up, but then was invited to attend a weekend conference in the place of a colleague who is on sick leave. So there goes that weekend.

So it looks like I'm just going to have to figure this stuff out on my own. I brought a bunch of books home from the library on power tools, woodworking, and carpentry. Each book goes to great lengths to talk about safety, so I'll be sure to heed that advice.

Of course, I don't even have a place for the saw to live. I want to create a workspace in our basement . . . excuse me a minute - HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! . . . . so maybe some day that will happen.

So, changing the subject without a transition:

Also on my mind is that we need to incorporate a few more Jewish rituals into our home. I'm thinking that we should start having proper Shabbat dinners, with the candles and the whole bit. I think it's a good tradition for Garielle.

So on tonight's menu - homemade pizza - ha ha! It's what we have on hand. I have some white candles and some Star of David candle holders. Off we go.

Designers are in a rut

In my previous post, I said that interior designers are either sifting through the old Sears catalogs for the tackiest stuff, or they're just copping out and doing everything in whites. I thought I'd offer some examples of what I meant.

Here is a very sterile room. I just know that if I ever visited and sat on their furniture, I'd start my period.














Please tell me nobody actually lives here. Do you get the sense that guests are not welcome?














I think we've been watching a little too much Antiques Roadshow.













Precious, precious, precious! Undoubtedly, what the camera didn't capture was the teddy bear collection off to the right and the Precious Moments display case on the wall.














This room screams "We are old and we are Republicans, but we have damned good taste." Nobody explained to them that the department store isn't where to go for your wall art.















Sears - circa 1985. It screams "finer hotel room."














Is this a room or a salad?














This one wins an award. It's bland and chaotic at the same time.














The images above were borrowed, without permission, from the HGTV website.

More living room ideas

It's really hard to find living room ideas that I like. It seems that a lot of what's being done these days is just chaos. It seems designers are sifting through the Sears catalogues of the 1970's, tossing what was groovy, and keeping what was tacky. And it seems to be a growing trend to pack rooms with as much crap as possible, OR to go virgin white.

Anyway, I found a few rooms that I like and that I might use for inspiration when the time comes.

I like this room a lot. We could use our existing living room furniture in this room. We already have the yellow chair, and the sofa needs reupholstered anyway.

I like this room too, except it's just a tiny bit bland. I do like its crispness, however.

Now here is an example of way too much stuff going on in a room. However, I do love the colors, especially the green wall.

What a crazy week. What week - - what a crazy month!

So my first week on my new job went pretty well, but I felt like I was coming down with something the whole time. I'm not alone - seems everyone at the office is straggling around, not quite sick but not quite well. It's very annoying.

I haven't had a chance to rip that final bit of carpet out of Garielle's room. There just hasn't been time. (Why am I not doing it now, you ask?) Because I'm online researching dishwashers while laundry is going in the other room.

We did get a new garbage disposal - hurrah! The next piece is the dishwasher. We shopped today but may have hit a height snafu. Our old dishwasher was a Maytag Jetclean II. It came with the house. The repairman said that Maytags are awful and they konk out early. I went online and rating at places such as epinions seem to back that up. So I swore I wouldn't buy another Maytag.

Alas, Maytags are slightly shorter than other brands, apparently. The space we have available is 34" and a smidgen. The Kenmores we looked at today all require 34.5". The salesperson said that most models require 34.5" but for some reason, Maytags are shorter than standard.

So we came home and measured one more time, just to be sure. And yes, it appears that we have 34 1/8" available - barely. Eric said "Well, let's just get a top of the line Maytag."

I went online and it looks like what we HAD was a top of the line Maytag. Urgh.

I emailed the Miele people and asked them if any models were 34". I said "Please don't make me buy another Maytag!"

Then I googled "dishwashers 34"" and came across site after site indicating that 34" is the standard height for dishwashers.

Really???

So now I'm all confused.

Is 34" really standard or not? If it is standard, why is it that Maytag is the only one who adheres to it? That would make it rather not standard, wouldn't it?

Okay. Here are my issues to resolve:

- get a dishwasher. Not a Maytag!!!!
- get the oil changed in my car & get new wiper blades while I'm at it.
- get the dog groomed.
- pull up the carpet in Garielle's closet

When those four things are handled, I'm having a martini.

Progress

So today I ripped out the rest of the carpet in Garielle's room, except for her closet. I'm so glad I invested in a set of really high quality knee pads - they cost like $40 and look like part of a space suit. But they really helped when it took me 2 hours to crawl around on the floor pulling out staples and nails.

The next step is to pull up the carpet in her closet, pull up the nails, etc. Then I have to figure out how to get shoe molding in. See, the wood around the perimeter of the room indicates that there was once some shoe molding, because it's quite a bit darker than the rest of the wood. And the ends are uneven, not quite being covered by the baseboard.

So I guess I need a miter saw. It's hard to believe I need to invest the $150 - $200 in a compound miter saw. I thought the only other alternative was a miter box, but I see in this woodworking manual that I bought yesterday that there is a non-power miter saw outfit kind of thing.

There's a Lee Valley woodworking supply shop here in town. When I get to the point where I'm ready to put in the shoe molding, I'll go there & visit & pick some brains.

In the meantime, I started reading this woodworking manual last night. It's so interesting!

There's sooooo much to be done with this house, and progress is so slow. It's just about impossible to do anything during the week. Weekends are necessarily full of all the stuff there was no time for during the week - laundry, tidying the house, and so on.

As I've been intermittently trying to clean out our basement as well, I have about 5 carloads of stuff to take to storage. Plus the carpet that I ripped out remains in garbage bags in our hallway. I was going to put them out with the garbage, but Eric thinks there's a better way to dispose of them. He's not clear on what that is. However, I don't want those bags to sit in the hallway much longer. So if they're not out of the hallway by next weekend, I'm taking them to the landfill myself. And I guess I can't keep waiting on him to help me take stuff to storage, so I might have to do that by myself.

Here are other things that desperately need to happen in our house. If they're not handled by the time I get around to them, I'm doing them myself:

The back door needs replaced entirely - including storm door. I think the frame needs some work. Before now, I figured we'd have to bring in a professional. But now I'm starting to think perhaps I could do it, with the right tools and some instructions.

The front door needs replaced entirely. For this, we will have to call in the pros. That whole wall upon which the door resides needs completely reworked. There are these fake glass blocks along the side of the door, in the actual wall of the house. Turns out they're plastic stuff, and one good kick will knock them right in. Fortunately we don't have much worth stealing in our house, but still . . .

The door to our den just sort of ripped off the hinges. It's a french door thing, you know, glass all divided into squares. Eric took the door down & put it in Garielle's room, against a wall. I moved it out and put it into the hallway because HELLO, I'm renovating in there, don't be putting a bunch of stuff in there! Problem is, Garielle saw it and pretended to open it. I about had a heart attack envisioning the door coming down on her head. I asked her to never, ever touch it, and she hasn't done so.

Anyway, after I finish Garielle's room, that's next on my list to fix.

We haven't replaced the dishwasher or the garbage disposal yet. Again, the pros for that.

What's left to do in Garielle's room:

• Pull up carpet in closet
• Install shoe molding
• Paint baseboard, shoe molding, trim
• Touch up walls where I accidentally put my feet while yanking out carpet, nails, and so on
• Decoupage the wall plates & put them on.
• Move furniture into her room.
• Hang paintings, mobiles, etc.
• Lower the clothes rack & shelves in closet.
• Decide what to do about her doors. They're ugly.

Then, unless there are other emergencies, I'm going to rehang the door to the den, then turn my attention to the back door.

After that, I'm going to look at the living room floor and decide if I want to install laminate flooring. I think I do want to.

If I decide to do that, I think we'll see about painting the living room first, while the hideous gold shag is still on the floor. Eric doesn't want me to do this myself. He wants to hire pros. The thing is, the wall curves into the kitchen - there's no sharp corner. So we almost have to paint the kitchen at the same time.

Which brings me to the kitchen ceiling issue, but I'm not that far along yet. We'll get there.

I have tools.

I went to the gym this morning, and then had a massage. Ahhhhh!!!!!!

Then I went to Rona to find a few things - kneepads, a toolbelt, and so on. I ended up buying quite a few things for myself. Instead of a toolbelt, I got a tool apron - it's a big, guy-like apron. I also bought some protective eyewear, kneepads - really nice ones, work gloves, a utility knife, a small thingy of spackling compound, an adjustable wrench, and a few other things.

I just can't figure out this "saw" business. I posted a question on the Be Jane message boards, and we'll see if I get a response. A lot of the instructions say to make this or that cut with this or that type of saw. I just don't know - can I use a manual saw or do I have to buy an electric saw? And can I just buy one and start using it? Don't I need someone to show me how to do it? Seems like I need to take a class or something, or have my dad show me how to use one. Well, having my dad show me is not an option.

So this afternoon, I ripped out half of the carpet in Garielle's room. I could have ripped it all out but then I might not have had the time to get all the staples & nails out, which is a bad, unsafe thing. So I opted to do half very well and make sure the floor was very clean and safe. Then tomorrow I'll do the other half.

And now I need to go consolidate and accumulate tools and stake out which tools are MINE, MINE, MINE.

Plans, glorious plans!

By the way, if you don't see my picture posted in the profile, it's because the domain where it lives has expired. I should probably consider renewing it. I haven't decided yet.

So we've had something going on every single night this week, and we have something going on tonight as well. I hope I can get a few things accomplished over the weekend!

I'd like to pull the carpet out of Garielle's bedroom. I never did find a utility knife in the house. I know we have one. I'll find it soon after I purchase a new one, surely.

Then, of course, I have to make sure the floor is safe. That's the thing about these projects. I can't just do some now and finish it later. It's now or never. I have to pull out those strippy things along the edge of the floors and then make sure there are no nails, staples, or large, pointy wood protrusions emerging from the floor.

At that point, I have to make a decision about the floor, based on what I discover after the carpet is pulled up.

And here's my other project. This should really impress Eric. Our bathroom sink keeps clogging. Eric keeps dumping Drano down the drain, and using the plunger. It gets a little better - - for a time.

Well, this weekend, by God, I'm going to fix that damned thing the right way. I'm going under the sink.

Before I do either of those two ambitious things, I'm going to reread the instructions to make sure I have the right tools. And I'm going to buy myself a toolbelt. So there!

I will be a Jane.

So Eric is cautiously supportive of this do-it-yourself enthusiasm I seem to have sucked myself into of late. His reservations make me all the more determined. He has a good point though - I do tend to start projects and not finish them. He said he doesn't want me to get into something and then never get around to finishing it, or get in over my head and have to call in professionals.

I mentioned in an earlier blog entry that I tend to get obsessive. Now, my obsession seems to be getting the house into shape. Last night, I couldn't even sleep. I sent Eric an email of the tape recording loop that was going around in my head last night. I'll copy paste it here:

Need to rip out carpet in G's room, then fix up floor and/or get rug, then paint trim.
Then start living room. Could I paint it myself? Sure! But would it take me a year? Could I do it in a week? It would save us a lot of money.
Why do I keep fantasizing about being a handy woman? I've been having this fantasy for years and years. So far, I've painted a couple of rooms and occasionally changed a light bulb.
I need to get our tools consolidated and organized.
I wish I had a tool belt. If I had a tool belt, I bet I could lay laminate flooring in the living room all by myself.
If the basement were organized, I could set up a little area just for tools and things.
I bet I could replace the back screen door all by myself. I bet I could replace the toilet downstairs all by myself.
I bet I could put a second story on our house all by myself.
I wonder if I could get all that done by the time the Tokols got here.
We should have a seder. I should sew a nice, elegant tablecloth for the occasion. I should set up a sewing area. We don't have the space for that. Maybe I should build an extra room off the back of the house.
Let's paint the living room red! I really want to!
Where do we move the furniture in the living room and dining room during the floor renovation? Do we shove it into the kitchen?
We should move that marble topped sideboard downstairs, it's aesthetically wrong upstairs.
We need to take a load of things to storage.
We really can't move forward on the basement until we do that.

So, damn it, the first thing I need to do is FINISH GARIELLE'S BEDROOM!!! I'm getting so close! Maybe I can work on it tonight. If I just rip out the carpet . . .

But I need a utility knife. I'm sure we have one somewhere, but who knows where. I can't buy something new when I have one in the house, right?

So I need to find a place to capture our tools and things. Maybe I should do THAT tonight. And maybe I'll uncover the utility knife in the process. And if I've gathered up & organized what tools we do have, and I still haven't uncovered a utility knife, I'll buy one.

And maybe I'll buy a tool belt.

Could I be a Jane?

I love going to this website:

Be Jane

I've been peeking in from time to time, and yesterday, I bought the book:

I've just begun to read it. This morning, Eric asked me how I like it, and I said that I love it, love it, love it!

So, here's the thing. Eric and I had the "serious talk" a few days ago about how we really need to be more economical in 2007. However, we have this house we're living in, and in addition to needing major beautification, we also have some practical repair jobs that need done. The dishwasher is still on the fritz. The roof is going to need repairing. We need a new furnace. The front and back doors are not acceptable, nor are they safe. Additionally, we need some serious yard word done. And, although this isn't about the house, our cars are getting up in years and we're going to have to replace them eventually.

I've been reading the blurbs from all the Janes who contributed, and so many of them got started in the do-it-yourselfer realm because they had no money to hire things done.

I wonder if I can be a Jane.

Last day of the year . . .

So it's New Year's Eve and I'm quite happy to be hanging out at home. I'm still on the tail end of this cold, Eric & Garielle are cuddling upstairs & watching TV (I'll be joining them as soon as I hit "post"), and I'm eating a yummy stir fry.

Every new year since . . . oh, about 1990, I think, each year sounds so bizarrely futuristic that it's hard to believe we've arrived. I remember when 1999 hit, Prince's "1999" was played all the time, and here we were, at the very precipice of the millenium.

2000 came, and the world's computer systems did not all crash.

Here we are and 2007 is upon us. It's just a mid-decade year.

As I type, I'm listening to a bunch of songs I downloaded, songs I figured I'd never hear again. They evoke memories of years past, other lives I've lived, people I've loved, people I didn't like so much, places I lived.

Sometimes I feel like I've lived several lifetimes.

In some ways, I feel like my husband and I are a young couple, just starting out. This is because we married just seven and a half years ago, and we have a five-year-old. But Eric will be 50 next month, and I'm 43. We're no spring chickens.

So let's see - how many lifetimes have I lived?

There was my childhood. That was a great lifetime. I suppose my university days can be lumped in with childhood.

There were probably too many lovers. I probably gave my heart and my body too willingly. Oops, is this a public blog? Oh well, it happened, and I had a splendid time. I emerged with no diseases and with my heart intact. I think, if I had it to do over again, I'd have been nicer to some of the men, though. I think I was a bit mean sometimes. And frankly, stupid.

My first marriage was like a lifetime unto itself. It sure seemed long enough. I probably should have left far earlier. Well, I shouldn't have married in the first place. I suppose I could devote a whole blog entry on that one. Suffice it to say that we made a mistake, and we got out of it while we were both young enough to get over it.

Then I had a wonderful and brief interlude of "single life." I liked that.

I can't say I was ready to marry again when I met Eric. He was ready, though. He had sown his oats, also having emerged with no diseases, and miraculously, no previous marriages.

So I moved to Canada and married him. Became a mother. Moved clear across the country. Converted to Judaism. And here I am. (Did I mention I was a Catholic during my first marriage?)

I can honestly say that life seems to get better the older I get. When I was stuck in my first marriage, projecting in my mind my life over the next several years and several decades, I shuddered. Little did I know that I would find the courage to leave a "perfectly decent man" and go on to find the love of my life and eventually become a mother of a beautiful, smart, and captivating little girl. I suppose my ex husband, who was obsessed with the idea that I had to work any old shit job as long as the money came in, would be amazed that I went on to launch a career and at times made more money than my husband. (He's starting a new job in the new year and will make significantly more than me, so I'd better get my nose to the grindstone and get a promotion! Ha ha!)

Well, I suppose I should end this blathering and go upstairs to cuddle with my wonderful family. I'm sorry if I seemed to get gushy in this entry. It probably won't be the last time, either.

Getting hard!

So I've been going to the gym for most of December, and now my arms & legs are getting hard. Woo hoo! I just love to lift the weights. I'm not such a big fan of the treadmill, or any of those repetitive aerobic machines, but I force myself to do them for about a half hour.

This isn't the first time I've felt my body get all hard. I've begun to get into shape so many times in my life, and I just love the way it makes me feel. So why don't I stick with it?

I put together a really easy routine for December, just to get me back into the swing of things. For January, I'm adding a machine and some time on the treadmill.

Okay, the truth?

It occurs to me that one more time in my life, I'd like to be a bombshell. I've had bombshell moments in my life, and frankly, I liked them. I probably have another decade, maybe two, in which I could still be a total bombshell. (Okay, feel free to post comments & contradict me and tell me that I have many more decades! I love it!)

I've been doing the "cool with myself" natural woman thing for many years now. I've been aging gracefully. I've not worried too much about a comfortable pouch on my belly or sagging boobies. But what the heck - I still have a few Wonder Woman years in me, surely!

Cute soup

Garielle made soup. I'm eating it now. It's good!

She stood on a step stool at the stove with a long-handled spoon, stirring the pot and telling me what ingredients to put in it. We began with a bouillion cube, then diced carrots, red beans, green beans, and corn. It cooked and she stirred happily until I talked her into putting the lid on to let it stew for about 20 minutes.

Before that, we made & decorated a ginger bread house.

And before that . . . brace yourself! I painted her room!!! Yes, by God, I painted that damned room.

Of course, I still have to pull up the carpet, paint the trim & baseboards, and figure out what to do about the floor, but at least the walls are a very light, soft, buttery yellow!

In other news:

The garbage disposal has been on the fritz for a week. I'm getting to really miss it.

Today, the dishwasher stopped working.

And I still haven't got my printer up & running yet.

However, I did replace a light bulb this morning.

Painting, painting, painting

I spent most of the day painting my daughter's bedroom. To be specific, I did the trim work - you know, painting along the ceiling, along the baseboard, along the doors and window, taking off the electric plates, and so on.

I finally got ready for the "big" painting with the roller, and I can't find the roller brush, or the pan thingy. I can't run to the store and pick some up because it's Christmas Day.

I came downstairs to look for them, and ended up logging on to the computer, which led me to this blog entry.

The room is going to look much better when it's finished. After I get the walls painted, I need to rip out the ugly carpet, then paint the baseboards and the wood trim. They're already painted in glossy pink, and if I take the time to sand or strip, it will NEVER get done. So I'll paint them with a primer first, then a couple coats of the dark blue.

After that, I'll move her furniture back into her room and hang up the cool things I bought for the room, and it will be DONE!

And THEN I will feel justified in obsessing about the living room.

The inner brat

So today I stumbled upon a concept I'd never heard of before.

We've all heard about the "inner child," and there are people who have done extensive work to "parent" their "inner child," and it's all very serious. The inner child, as we know, protects us from scary situations but often sabotages us. The inner child doesn't know that we're adults now.

A more lighthearted twist on this concept is one of the "inner brat."

When you say "Oh, I'll do it later," that's your inner brat talking. The inner brat also says things like:

"But I really want it! Let's use the credit card!"

"This one piece of cake won't hurt me."

"I don't feel like going to the gym. I want to watch TV."

"I don't have time to hang up my coat. I'll just throw it here on the chair and get it later."

The inner brat always wants to do fun and interesting things. The inner brat doesn't have the time or patience or attention span to do anything boring or difficult.

But when we force the inner brat to behave, the inner brat just rebels and is all the worse as soon as the drudgery is over, often undoing whatever the adult is trying to do.

"I was good all day and didn't cheat. Now I get some ice cream!"

"I haven't bought anything for myself in a long time. I deserve something really special."

"Okay, I did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. It's not fair that I have to tidy the living room too, so I won't do it."

So I happened on this site called The Brat Factor where the motto seems to be "If it isn't fun, it won't get done." Interesting concept! And it certainly makes sense.

Right now, my inner brat is insisting that I putz around on the computer instead of tidying the house. I want to tidy the house because tomorrow the decks are cleared so that I can paint my daughter's bedroom, once and for all. That will be my Christmas present to my daughter and to myself!

Things that I'm pleased about right now

1. Did I mention that I started going back to the gym? I'm on a light routine to get myself back into the swing of things. I lift weights for about a half hour, and then I walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes. It's not much, but it's getting me back into the groove. I'll torque it up in the new year. (Smart, 'eh? That's when everyone else comes back to the gym and we have to stand in line for the equipment.)
2. We're in the midst of Hanukkah. So far I've been to two Christmas parties, two Hanukkah parties, and one "festive celebration." We're having a latke party at our house this Friday. I'm taking the day off work today to make latkes ahead of time.
3. I really have a wonderful family. I believe I won the lottery of husbands, and my daughter - oh, well, I could devote an entire blog to my daughter. I'm surprised I haven't been doing that already. Maybe I still will.
4. I have a second interview lined up for a position at my organization that I'm really interested in. It's not a promotion, and the position is sort of tangential to what my department does. But it looks very interesting.
5. Because we're not going back to my side of the family in Ohio this Christmas, I haven't had to rush around to plan & pack, and I haven't bought any presents for anyone. Well, I got my sister & father each a little thing, and I'm going to get subscriptions to kids' mags for my nephews' children. But I've done very little in the way of shopping or wrapping. I haven't even seen the inside of a mall in December. I dig this being Jewish!
6. I've decided to break down and get an mp3 player. I know I'm the last person on the planet to get one. Truly, I know this is not so. I pass many people on the street every day who are concerned about where their next meal is from. I'm very lucky that I can even entertain the thought of getting an mp3 player. And new speakers for my computer. And possibly a new printer, if I can't find that friggin' disk.

Well, I think the things I'm pleased about carry far more weight than the things I'm annoyed about.

Things that are annoying me right now

1. This blog doesn't show up when I do blog searches. I have checked several times, and my blog is configured to show up in searches. What up?
2. Since I had my new hard drive installed, I can't get my printer to work. My computer can't seem to "find" it. It won't let me reinstall it. I've tried downloading the driver from the internet, but that doesn't work. It wants that original disk that came with the printer. I have no friggin' clue where that disk is. Hell, I'm the lady who misplaced her sewing machine.
3. I can't find my sewing machine.
4. I've been having problems logging on to the work network from my home computer. Well, I shouldn't say "I've been having problems." Not to put too fine of a point on it, but it simply won't log on.
5. My speakers were crappy, so I threw them away. Now my computer has no sound.
6. Everyone's house is more beautiful than ours. Okay, I know that's not exactly 100% accurate. But let's just say that everyone I know personally has a more beautiful house than ours. Today, Eric and I talked about FINALLY getting some shelving for his 1,000,000 CD's. I want built ins. We have enough media to fill four walls, so why not? Why not make the shelving the "wallpaper"? Eric says no. We're going to renovate some day, so no built-ins. I say we can remove them. He says he doesn't want to "screw around." So today I said I know we're not going to renovate. We're going to spend the next 20 years living half-assed, not making any meaningful changes to our decor or living style, because of some fictitious future renovation. Let's say I'm bitter.
7. We're at the end of the "fun" cycle at work, and now we're all about gathering numbers. I hate this part of the cycle.

Okay, that's about it. Except for everything listed above, I'm good.

Stilin to inspire living room

Here's a nice look from designer Robert Stilin:














And here's a link to a video of the room that more clearly shows how he mixes antique and retro elements: Video

He has a website as well: www.robertstilin.com

I like this look and it would suit our living room.

When I say "I love you"

I say "I love you" quite liberally. I'm sure people think I'm nuts. Sometimes I'm a bit of an over-the-top, larger-than-life kind of person anyway, so it kind of fits my personality, I think. Sometimes I say "I'm in love with you!" or "I just love you!" or some other ridiculous similar thing that my mother would find reprehensible. (Actually, it was my mother who advised me to be like Jesus and love 'em all.)

But it occurred to me this morning that last night, while I was out partying with some co-workers, that I think I said "I love you" to about five of them.

Do people really know what I mean when I say that? Do they just think I'm being silly and ridiculous? Well, they probably do.

Here's the history.

My family was very loving but not particularly affectionate. I didn't know it when I was growing up. I thought our family was the norm. And it very well may have been the norm in our midwestern small blue collar town. My mother used to like to say that the predominant culture roots of the area were German. There was an orderliness and a tidiness to the world. Country roads outlined huge squares of farmland. And we all liked beer.

And, as my mother would add, we shunned physical and verbal affection. We preferred to save it for when it was most sincere, which didn't seem to occur very often. Oh, of course, we'd hug from time to time, but usually just the immediate family, and usually it was a child-parent hug. I rarely saw the couples in my family hug. It did happen, just rarely.

And growing up there were very few people beyond my immediately family to whom I said "I love you." I know they knew I loved them, but we just never said it. It would make us squirm.

A few years ago, my grandmother was dying. I knew it was probably the last conversation I'd ever have with her. She was lying weakly on her pillow, eyes half closed. I decided to tell her for the first time in my life that I loved her. So I said it. "I love you, Grandma," I said. She was silent for a minute, and then she said "Oh, I know." That was the closest she could come to saying she loved me back, and I was totally cool with that.

Anyway, over the years, I've become more affectionate. Life is too short to withhold affection. Liberal use of affection does not indicate a lack of sincerity - not at all. In fact, the more people I sincerely love, the more wonderful life seems to be.

So if you're reading this and if I've told you that I love you, here's what it means:

When I tell you that I love you, it often means I have extreme like for you. It means I want to keep knowing you and probably want know you even better. It means I care for your well-being. It probably means that I have great admiration for you, as well. It means that I think you're a very good person and that you bring great value into my life. And it means that I'm going out on a limb to tell you how much I like you, because life is too short for me to wait around to see if you tell me first.

It doesn't have to mean that I want to have sex with you (but it may, especially if you're Eric). It doesn't have to mean that I will love you forever (unless you're my daughter, or if you're Eric, I hope, I hope, I hope). And it doesn't even mean I like everything about you.

And you don't even have to love me back. But it would be nice if you did.