Bizarre inclinations (again)

I hum merrily along in life for weeks or months at a time, and then I go through periods where I'm certain I'm supposed to be doing something else. I'm as certain as certain can be, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is how I will feel forever, so firmly rooted is the feeling.

And then it passes, and I think "Whew, glad I didn't follow that inclination!"

But sometimes some of the same inclinations resurface.

I quite often believe I'm supposed to be a public speaker of some sort. But as of yet I have no idea of what I'd say.

I sometimes believe that I'm supposed to be a motivational speaker, with books and CD's.

And I sometimes believe that I'm supposed to be a stand-up comedian.

And still other times I believe I'm supposed to be a writer.

Or a writer of music. Or a producer of music.

Or a screenplay writer, or film producer.

I never have the feeling that I'm supposed to be a fundraiser, for some reason, and that's what I do for a living. And I'm quite good at parts of it. I'm quite good at the parts where I go out and meet donors and prospects. I'm quite good at the parts where I have to stand up in front of large groups of people and talk about why their support is critical. I'm quite good at anything that involves writing, or idea generating.

I'm not so good with the minutia or the numbers or the results analysis. I'm told these are critically important in my field as well. I don't argue with that. But dang it, I'm raking it in - let someone else count it.

Anyway, I'm going through one of these periods again. This time, unlike previous times, it's not motivated by extreme job dissatisfaction. In fact, as far as jobs go, this one is a plum. It's probably the best job I've had to date. And I'm earning a decent and stable income that my family relies on.

It's time for me to move forward on some of these things. I think in 2007 I will either enroll in this comedy class I've heard about, OR arrange to go to a public speaking course or seminar, OR join Toastmasters. (The problem with Toastmasters is they have a once-a-week commitment that they take very seriously. I don't have that kind of time. I'm fairly convinced that once a month would do very well for me.)

Too bad I only have one lifetime. Of course, maybe I have more than that.

There's this spiritual theory that appears in many of the world's religions that says that we live multiple lives, and in each life, we're supposed to learn lessons that we carry into our next life, and so on.

The problem I have with this theory is that if this were the case, we should be able to remember the lessons learned in previous lives. I'd sure love to remember what those lessons were, and I sure wish I could take the lessons I'm learning here into the next life.

I wish I could leave myself a memo: "Next time, don't forget - be a singer/songwriter!"