It seems like it works.

This law of attraction thing seems to work. I've known about it for almost three years, but it's only in the past several months that I've set about to use it purposely.

I bought a small blank book to write in every time I notice it in action in my life, but I always forget to write in it. But here are some recent things off the top of my head:

1. We traveled to Ohio for the holidays. Expecting to lose a piece of luggage during the complicated layover that involved un-checking our luggage and re-checking it at Customs, I packed accordingly, putting a little bit of everything in each suitcase so that if even if we only got one piece at the other end, we'd all have clean underclothes and something to wear the next day. Eric, however, packed most of his stuff in one suitcase, and fretted the entire first leg about our luggage. That was the piece that was lost.

2. Christmas is the busiest time of year for people in the airline industry. Eric was certain the suitcase was gone for good. His theory is that if it doesn't turn up within the first 24 hours, the odds of finding it are pretty slim. And even if they did find it, they'd have to ship it to Detroit (our final destination) and then somehow we'd have to drive the 2 hrs back to the damned airport, because who was going to deliver it this close to Christmas?

So my sister, her daughter-in-law, and I set about to attract it to us before Christmas. I expressed profound gratitude for having made the journey safely, and then I expressed gratitude for the four pieces of luggage that did arrive. Then I expressed the intention that the missing suitcase should arrive on Christmas Eve.

It did. At 9:30 a.m. on December 24, a driver from the airport knocked on my father's door, bearing the suitcase.

3. Duirng our hectic two weeks in which we traveled back & forth from Ontario, Michigan, and Ohio visiting friends, we managed to see everyone we intended to see and eat what we intended to eat and shop successfully for everything we wanted and to experience everything we wanted to experience.

4. More generally, whenever I remember to attract a parking place before I go somewhere, I always have one. (I often forget to start attracting it until I arrive, and it's too late.)

5. We've reached the breaking point with this house. I decided to attract a better house. Coincidentally, a former colleague & friend reappeared in my life - she's now a mortgage broker. I had coffee with her, and we decided that in 2008, we would do business with her. At first we talked about moving, but Eric really wants to stay in this neighbourhood. So now we have to attract a renovation. It's more than just the money. We have to attract an architect who can help us clarify our vision, and bring wonderful ideas to us as well. We also have to attract a reputable contractor.

So what do I want to work on attracting this year?

I've decided that my two hobbies in 2008 will be health & wealth. Very specifically, I want to be able to run. And I want to grow our wealth while learning to protect the wealth we have.

In the past, I've thought things like "I want to lose weight" and "I don't want to be tired anymore." From now on, I will celebrate and be grateful for the health that I have and attract the initiative to maximize it.

In the past, I've thought "I wish we could get out of debt" and "I wish I were more savvy with money." From now on, I will celebrate and be grateful for the wealth that we really do have, and I will attract the confidence and skills to maximize it.

So that's my story.

The past couple of months

It's been a couple of months since I've blogged. My mind has been a whirl, so I haven't known what to blog about, really.

1. Well, since my last post was about Avon, I'll start there. I meant to quit the whole thing. But every time an order came due, I thought "Well, I'll just put one more order in . . . " so I've basically been ordering for myself. Occasionally, some random person at the office will have an order too.

I know I bashed Avon pretty good in my last post. I think I was in a snarky mood. I think I was just mad at myself for getting myself into yet another commitment, yet another mental entanglement, and yet another diversion from things that I want to focus on.

Of course, at the time, I rationalized it, as I always do. I always find a way to smush my new interests into my 3 areas of focus. I told myself Avon would bring in more money. And I'm sure it would have, if I'd have had the gumption to promote it properly. Maybe it still will. I haven't quit yet. And as it's Christmas season, I ordered extra brochures for this campaign. I'm going to spread them around at work, distribute them in the neighbourhood, and reassess in the New Year.

2. I decided several months ago that I was really going to get behind this Law of Attraction thing to see if it really works. What it has done is to bring to my awareness the number of times during the day that I have counterproductive thoughts. I've always thought of myself as an upbeat, positive person, so I figured if anyone could get a handle on this quickly, it should be me. What I'm realizing is that using the Law of Attraction is simple, but not easy.

For one thing, many of the proponents & promoters of the Law of Attraction (and there are a million of 'em) insist that all you have to do is think about what you want with feeling. No action is necessary. In fact, to embark upon action towards your desires indicates a doubt in the Universe, which will block what you want from getting to you.

Are you laughing? I'm laughing.

However, if you look at the line-up of experts quoted in The Secret (which has become synonymous with the Law of Attraction), you won't find a single one of them who sat on their butts while their successes came to them. Every single one of them has been out there writing, working, developing, networking, thinking, stewarding, fanning the flames, hustling, and promoting themselves.

And if you read their quotes in the book, none of them say that you can just sit around & wait for the ship to come in. You're supposed to be swimming out to meet your ship. But the Law of Attraction is supposed to bring that ship in more quickly.

Anyway, the whole point of this is that although I decided to test the Law of Attraction, I can't offer a valid assessment because I haven't been doing enough swimming.

Or haven't I?

As I said earlier, learning about the LOA has led me to be more aware of my thoughts. And this has attracted other stuff.

For instance, I learned about the Sedona Method. I had heard of it before, and hadn't paid any attention to it. I thought it was just another hot air salesman peddling something New Agey. But I heard about it through an interview at Self Dev Radio, and for some reason, this time, it caught my attention. I downloaded the free mp3 and tried the technique. To my astonishment, it worked pretty well. I have a free package in the mail that hasn't arrived yet. (Mail takes a long time to get over that really cumbersome, geographically complex, high-security U.S. - Canada border, for some reason.) Anyway, I'm looking forward to trying it some more.

It's also led me to meditate. I need to get back into that practice, actually. It does take some time. But I like how it makes me feel.

I think these might be some groundwork kinds of things that I need to allow the LOA to work in my life.

3. And the reoccurring theme of wanting to do "something" has come back. I've often thought I'd like to be self-employed. I'd like it to involve writing, creating, helping others, speaking, teaching, training, etc. I keep coming back to this.

In the past, I would get these notions when things weren't working out on the job. It usually happened when I ended up with a crummy boss. I've ended up with a lot of crummy bosses, for some reason. I've had to ask myself - is it that there are so many crummy bosses in the world, or am I a crummy employee? (By the way, if your name is Sue, Pat, Lana, Carol, Scott, Bernadette, Marcia, Kathleen, or Patti, you weren't one of my crummy bosses. If you don't see your name listed, and you were my boss, well . . . guess what? Oh, for Pete's sake, you weren't that bad, Ken, Kevin, Jin, and that tall red-headed guy at Bob Evans where I was a waitress for about 3 months. But everyone else - bad!)

Here's me as an employee:

- I totally insist on lots of flexibility. I will come in late many days a week. Count on it. I will sometimes come in early. Sometimes I work through lunch. Sometimes I take long lunches. Sometimes I work on weekends. Sometimes I take long weekends. Is this a problem?

- I can't abide micromanagement. Every time I've been micromanaged, I've stalled out. If you didn't see your name listed above, and if your criticism of me was that I stalled out, you just might be a micromanager. You should cut that out.

- I get bored if I'm not allowed to generate & act upon my wonderful ideas. I'm okay if I can't pursue EVERY idea. But I do need to be allowed to play with at least a few of them. (Ditto above. Those of you who kiboshed every single wonderful idea I had, shame on you. You know who you are. *shaking finger*)

- If you piss me off, I will confront you. Bosses don't like that. But I can't work in a pissed-off state. I might as well just go home. I'll just get all passive-aggressive on you if I'm now allowed to confront you. Okay, let's be truthful here: I don't "confront." I "address." I don't just barge into my boss's office and demand satisfaction. I do it the appropriate way. I say "Can we talk?" and I say "Here is my problem with this - maybe you can help me." I don't get confrontational. But I also do not let things fester. If I've been unfairly treated, someone will know about it.

I looked at my list of good bosses and not-so-bad bosses, and I realize that I have had a lot of good bosses. So maybe I didn't attract as many bad bosses as I thought I did. And let me also add that I have been a "people manager" myself, so I know it's not an easy job.

Nevertheless, let's stay on topic here . . .

I always thought about launching out on my own when I've suffered under unfair, micromanaging, pain-in-the-ass bosses. I've always figured that the only reason I fantasized about being self-employed was to get away from bad bosses.

But now I have a wonderful boss who lets me generate as many ideas as I want to - we don't pursue them all, but there are enough to keep me entertained. And I show up & go home just about whenever I want to. (I do keep something similar to standard office hours, but I just flex on both ends and in the middle.)

Yet I'm still thinking "What can I do? What can I do?" I have this itch to create something uniquely my own, and then launch it.

Well, there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about what I've been doing over the past couple of months besides blogging.

I've changed my mind.

I don't want to be an Avon lady.

It was fun at first, when my coworkers ordered from me and I got to sort all the orders into bags, throw in some samples, and then deliver the stuff.

But orders from my coworkers have petered off, and frankly, I don't feel like pestering them with perky reminders to check out their brochure or blah blah blah.

The first few times I went around the neighbourhood distributing brochures was fun, but then it got old.

And it's not about whether or not I can be successful at this. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I persist and if I get brochures out there and follow up and build relationships, I know it can work.

But even if it works, I just don't want to do this.

Why did I want to do it in the first place???

Let me think . . .

Well, it all started when I just wanted to order some lipstick, but then got to thinking, hmmm, maybe this would be a way to earn extra money.

So I thought I'd give it a try.

And I gave it a try. Granted, it wasn't much of a try, but I've tried it enough to know that I'm just not that into it.

Frankly, while some of the products are good, there are too many products that are only mediocre, so I just can't wholeheartedly endorse the Avon brand.

Secondly, I can't seem to shed the notion that Avon is . . . well . . . of a certain calibre. Too many people rolled their eyes at me when they found out I was selling Avon. Too many neighbours that I met for the very first time through Avon now see me as the "Avon Lady." Do I care what they think? Somewhat. Let's just say that as little as I care about their opinions, I care about them more than I care about Avon. So clearly Avon isn't worth it to me.

I feel like I'm letting the woman I signed up under down. She is so very nice & encouraging.

So, if I don't want this, what do I want?

I'd rather spend time on my too many blogs.

Which brings me to my next point - I just love complicating my life. There was no room in my life for Avon, but I brought it in anyway. I don't have enough time to keep up with one blog, so I started 3 more. I have a tendency to launch into things, bite off more than I can chew, and then drop everything! Then after I've dropped everything, I noticed that there's space in my life, so I quickly fill it up again.

I should figure that out.

I've revisited my 5 year goals, and even those are too diverse for me to get a handle on. I need to focus on just one, but when I do that, the other two scream for my attention. For example, when I spend the bulk of my attention focused on health & fitness, our finances seem to teeter on the edge, and then I realize I need to focus on finances instead. So I focus on finances, and then have a health scare of some sort. So then I try to focus on both, and then come to find out I'm not spending enough time with my daughter, and my house is a mess.

I think I need to give things some serious reflection, get clarity on what I want, and then focus on what I want, and just manage everything else.

Even this blog isn't turning out how I wanted. I wanted this blog to be more insightful, maybe more humorous, and certainly not as much of a "Dear Diary" as it's turned out to be.

But maybe a "Dear Diary" format is what I need now for some reason.

And still more pondering . . .

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the Law of Attraction works.

I really wanted a play structure and a bunk bed. We now have the play structure, but not the bunk bed. We do have a trundle bed now, though, which serves the same purpose.

However, I've had this concern all along about a bunk bed - what if, in spite of the railings, she falls out? What if she's trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night to get to us and she falls? What if, what if, what if . . . ?

So a few weeks ago, she really did fall out of bed in her sleep. She was unhurt but very startled, so she began to cry. After a little hug & a cuddle, she went right back to sleep.

So perhaps my mixed signals to the Universe is what brought the trundle bed to pass, rather than the bunk bed.

A lot of reading lately

As I mentioned in my previous post, my sister bought me the book "The Secret." So I read that, which led to a desire for further inquiry.

This let me to read two Abraham-Hicks books. I was skeptical about Esther Hicks' channeling, especially when I listened to the mp3 files on the site linked above - if she's receiving "blocks of thought" as she says, which she translates into English, what's up with the funny accent?

This led me to the more credible Wayne Dyer, to The Power of Intention and You'll See It When You Believe It, which led me to open my mind to the possibility that maybe Esther is channeling - who am I to say she's not? And interesting that he indicates that he's not impressed with his title of Dr. yet his website refers to him as such.

And this led me to The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist, which is an absolutely transformational book that I highly recommend. I just finished the book today.

Now my mind is a blur.

Law of Attraction?

So my sister bought me a copy of "The Secret" - - not the film, but the book. It's all about the Law of Attraction, which isn't a secret.

(Law of Attraction; Michael Losier; Wayne Dyer; Joe Vitale and others too numerous to mention)

ANYWAY, I decided to put the principles into practice, just for the heck of it.

Yesterday I thought "Okay, let's try something really simple. I'm going for a penny." So I put my request in to the Universe and expressed gratitude for the penny that was coming my way. The whole day passed, and I didn't find a single penny.

Today I delivered an Avon order to a new customer. She paid in cash. The order was $42.44. She gave me $42.45. Her change was one cent. I said "I'm so sorry, I don't have any pennies on me." She said "Oh, don't worry about that!"

On my way home, I realize I'd just gotten my penny.

1 down (sort of) and 1 to go

The play structure has been delivered today! It's in boxes in our back yard. We can try to put it together ourselves, which everyone assures us will be easy, or we can hire it done.

Because we have out-of-town company coming, and because we really wanted it to be in place by the time they arrive so all the kids could play on it, we're opting to have someone else do it, if we can get it done more quickly. We'll see . .

In Avon news, there were some misunderstandings about my ambivalence towards selling it. Just to be clear, I never said I was lowering myself. What I said was that other people would perceive it as lowering myself. Thanks to everyone who assured me that I'm not lowering myself, but you're assuring the wrong person - I stated in my previous entry that I see it as entirely neutral.

Anyway, who cares, I'm selling it, so there. I use the products, I like most of them, and I love some of them, so it's all good.

Also, recently, I posted a to-do list. I think to keep myself accountable, I'll post it again and include updates. Sorry to bore anyone . . .

Finish trim in Garielle’s room - This might not happen until July. There are other things that I'm more anxious to get done.

Paint that white spot - there's a square of unpainted wall in Garielle's room - she asked me to keep a square unpainted for awhile so she could see the old & new colour. Now she says I can go ahead & paint in that square. Again - July.

Get her a new bed - She has a "new" bed - one of Eric's cousins gave it to her. It's a trundle bed. She's okay with it but disappointed that she doesn't have a bunk bed - hence the selling Avon.

Get a play structure for backyard - It's in our back yard waiting to be assembled - woo hoo!!! Now I'd like to take it off Visa. Again, hence the Avon.

Measure back yard - This is so that I can draw up back yard to scale. See next.

Draw up back yard plans to scale - This is so I can start drafting some long-term landscaping plans. I'm so happy about the play structure that I think I'll just focus for the rest of the summer on cleaning the back yard up.

Hang Garielle’s wall things - Need to paint the trim & paint in that square, as stated above. Again, maybe July.

Decorate wall plates or buy new ones - Ditto above.

Start walking at least 4x a week – don’t stress about distance/speed now. - ha ha ha ha ha!

Start a journal to capture things I want to include in scrapbook – funny things Garielle has said, achievements, reflections, important moments, etc. - Maybe I should start a blog. It seems to be easier for me to capture info on the internet.

Start bat mitzvah savings account - Why haven't I done this? I can do this online. Maybe I'll do that right after I hit "post."

Explore feasibility of Avon as income stream - I'm exploring!

Get house in shape for visitors coming end of month - This is a 20 pt to-do list unto itself!!!

Well, those are my updates. I'm very happy about the play structure, and I'm very happy that I'm selling Avon and will be able to buy my daughter a bunk bed.

More on bunk beds & play structures

Well, my first Avon campaign deadline is next week. I bumped it forward 2 days to give me time to get the order in & to handle any last minute orders.

So far I have 3 orders. I can see I'm going to need to torque up my efforts here. Of course, one could argue that my efforts thus far have hardly been heroic or valiant. All I've done is distribute some brochures quietly to 9 colleagues that I trust and think might be interested. So, three orders out of nine, and nobody refused a brochure.

I think if I want to make serious money at this, I have to be more proactive about finding a customer base, I have to be less apologetic when I approach people, and I have to get into leadership.

With all apologies to Avon and to its many, many fine reps, the thing is, selling Avon isn't exactly something that would make my family proud. It wouldn't make my husband proud either. They would all suggest that I'm "lowering myself."

I have to decide for myself if I'm lowering myself. Am I? Well, truth be told, I'm neutral on it. I don't think it raises me or lowers me - it's just something that is. Clearly what I'm struggling with is that stupid "What will other people think of me?" And that's not like me, because I'm not usually one to care.

I have to focus on why I'm doing this. I want to buy my daughter a bunk bed, a play structure, and then pay off my credit card. Well, actually, we'll buy the play structure soon, but I want to pay it off. The point is, I have noble reasons for doing this.

On the other hand, do noble reasons justify the means? What if I were selling illegal drugs to buy my daughter a bunk bed, a play structure, and then pay off my credit card?

Ah well, Avon products aren't illegal drugs.

And besides, I have a secret agenda. If I do manage to save up for a bunk bed, pay off the play structure, and then pay off my credit card, I could go on to do some other things that I've not had the money for - improvements on the house, travel, and so on.

But first, I must focus on a bunk bed.

When I distributed the brochures at work, I actually stapled a note to the front with a picture of the play structure. At that time, it was just the play structure I was saving for. I don't think an image of a bunk bed would be as compelling, so I might keep doing that (the note with the play structure).

I already have my brochures for the next campaign, and I've already given away 3. So I have 7 brochures, 3 of which I'll give to people who placed an order this time, and the other 4 I'll distribute to the coworkers who seem interested but have not ordered.

But I get to choose the quantity of brochures I want for every campaign after that.

So for Campaign 18, I think I'll hit up my own neighbourhood. Yes, it will be difficult. But I have a plan. I think I'll go around ahead of time and distribute door hangers announcing that there's a new Avon rep in the neighbourhood, and I'm going to be leaving brochures on their doors from time to time. I'll enclose a stamped response card for them to indicate that they do NOT want brochures. If I don't receive a response, I'll assume it's OK to drop off brochures. After all, if they are adamant enough about it to screw around dropping a postcard in the mail, they really must not want brochures, and I'd just as soon skip their house.

It will also include my email & phone number in case they want to contact me directly.

I figure I can do 20 houses this time around, and maybe add 20 each campaign until I've maxed out my walking limit (because I'm not going to drive all over town with gas prices being what they are).

Then maybe I could rotate brochures - it would be expensive to give everyone a brochure every campaign, if they're not ordering, so maybe divide the neighbourhood into thirds or quarters and deliver brochures to these people every 3-4 campaigns.

It might be fun - it would get me out walking, my daughter could do it with me . . .

Eric still doesn't know.

Bunk bed & Avon

So we went to the furniture store and bought a bunk bed. Garielle got to try it out & everything. Then Eric's cousin told him that she had a trundle bed Garielle could have for free - it was her daughter's, very girlie, and hardly used. So we went to have a look. Garielle insisted that she still wanted the bunk bed. Eric couldn't see past the $800 we would save if we took this free bed, but I couldn't see past Garielle's extreme disappointment at not getting a bunk bed.

Eric kept pointing out that we're already spending $2,000 on a play structure - we couldn't very well afford the bunk bed too. (Uh, then why did we buy one?) You can read about the play structure at Can This House Be Rescued.

Finally, I proposed this to Garielle - let's take this bed for now, and as soon as we could afford a bunk bed, we'd get one. I told her that I REALLY wanted her to have a bunk bed and I promised I would get her one.

She agreed.

I still haven't told Eric that I'm selling Avon. He'd shit a brick. But by God, I'm going to sell it and I'm going to make a profit, and I'm going to get my daughter a damned bunk bed. So there.

June's to-do list

Ø Finish trim in Garielle’s room
Ø Paint that white spot
Ø Get her a new bed
Ø Get a play structure for backyard
Ø Measure back yard
Ø Draw up back yard plans to scale
Ø Hang Garielle’s wall things
Ø Decorate wall plates or buy new ones
Ø Start walking at least 4x a week – don’t stress about distance/speed now.
Ø Start a journal to capture things I want to include in scrapbook – funny things Garielle has said, achievements, reflections, important moments, etc.
Ø Start bat mitzvah savings account
Ø Explore feasibility of Avon as income stream
Ø Get house in shape for visitors coming end of month

5 Year Plan

I just posted this huge thing about how I'm going to post my 5-year-plan, and something happened and I lost the post. Hate it when that happens.

So basically, I've been ignoring the 5 year plan I drew up in 2005. Actually, I followed it until about this year, and I really have been ignoring it lately. Sometimes I just forget about it, and I drift instead of taking specific actions towards my goals.

I need to get back on track. I decided that this blog would be a good way to keep it in front of me and maybe even add some accountability to it.

Here are the values which form the foundation of my 5-year-plan:

Family & Lifestyle

This value refers to the well-being and quality of life of my family and the time we spend together. It also refers to my vision of myself as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and daughter-in-law. This is my top value as everything else on my values list means nothing without this.

Health & Recreation

This value refers to my personal well-being, my physical and mental health, and anything I can do to give me energy to support my other values. I include Recreation because I have come to accept that I require a certain amount of fun and leisure in order to be fulfilled and to keep my “axe” sharp in other areas of my life.

Independence (Finances & Career)

Over the years I have come to accept the fact that I strongly prefer to set my own course, I am a self-starter, and I prefer to set my own agenda whenever possible. I realize that to achieve my ideal state with regards to this value, I must be both self-employed and financially secure. However, I've drifted from this mindset since 2005, and my values may be changing. Or I may be going through a phase.

Here are my 5-year goals:


Family & Lifestyle

1) Be Canadian (done by the end of this month)

2) Our house will be a comfortable, peaceful, visually pleasing and reasonably well-organized haven for us to relax, work, and play in. It will also be an attractive and inviting place to visit.

3) In five years, Garielle will have sampled a variety of experiences, such as dance, swimming, art, literature, music, competitive sports, travel, opportunities to develop solo, and opportunities to develop collaboratively with peers and with her parents. Her interests will be supported, and she will continue to be encouraged to explore new interests as well.

4) In five years, Garielle will have a wonderful repository of documentation, memorabilia, and history that will chronicle her life thus far. This will be in the form of scrapbooks, boxes of carefully chosen memorabilia, and video footage.

5) Before five years, my affairs will be organized as if I had a year to live. (This sounds morbid, but it comes from an exercise I did asking what I would do if I had a year to live. Why wait for such bad news to get my affairs in order? Why not get them in order and keep them in order for the rest of my life? That way, I have piece of mind and my family will have an easier time of it should the worst happen.) This includes my papers being sorted and organized, significant memorabilia identified (so that people won’t say “What’s THIS?”), and my business affairs documented. I will keep a document on my computer listing my bank accounts, all online business with passwords, etc. plus details about what Eric should know in the event I die.



Health & Recreation

1) Be an athlete. Be a runner and be able to perform at least one other sport moderately well. (ha ha ha ha! Oops, excuse me . . . )

2) In five years, I will have had at least one “cosmetic” procedure done (teeth bonding, tummy tuck, etc.)

3) Take at least 3 trips to places I’ve never been before.

4) In five years, we will have space in our home and yard for our hobbies, for Garielle to play, etc. This could also fit in the first value.


Independence (Finances & Career)


1) Become self-employed by December 31, 2008 as an online entrepreneur through the following businesses:
a. Holly Zenith (decided to nix this one)
b. New & Improved You (nixing this one too)
c. A career or life coaching business (not sure.)
I need to revisit this.


2) Be securely employed in a job I can enjoy by July 1, 2007. (done, unless they fire me.)

3) Become financially savvy, comfortable with our own portfolio, understanding money, be a skilled budgeter and a saver, be confident in my financial decisions.

4) Have at least 3 months salary in reserve.


So from this, I actually developed yearly plans, which I broke down even further into months. I followed them pretty well until, oh . . . maybe this past December. So now I need to look at my monthly plans.

I find that I stall out quite easily. If I give myself little bits of an overall goal, I sometimes can manage it.

More in next post.

Citizenship, money, and all the things I want!

I passed the citizenship test, and on June 27, I go to my swearing in. And then I'll be a Canadian. How funny is that! I grew up in a small Ohio town between soybeans and corn, as white-bread as can be, got myself baptized in the local Methodist church, said the Pledge of Allegience before school assemblies and so on. And now I'm a Canadian Jew. Ha ha ha ha ha!

So we went out today to try to buy a bunk bed and a play system for Garielle. If you read "Can This House Be Rescued," you'll get the whole grisly story.

It's time to come out of the closet with something. We are in a little more debt than we're happy with. Oh, I know, lots of people are in debt. I don't know why it's so shameful for me. It's just awful.

We've never missed a payment, and we always pay way more than any minimum, so we're still fine, upstanding people.

But now we're talking about buying these things for Garielle, and we're talking about all the things we need to do to this house to make it tolerable, things that won't improve the value of the house at all because of the ridiculously high property values here - anyone buying this house would just level it and build a new one, like everyone else in the neighbourhood is doing. But we can't afford that.

We need to beat this debt down. It seems to take all of our current income to maintain our standard of living. When we look at things to cut out of our life, we just don't want to. And Eric's income is precarious -he's on contract, and who knows how long that will last. And I work in a non-profit. I just started a new position with the organization I've been with for 4 years, so I don't want to go somewhere else.

So . . .

I'm doing something really nutty. I'm signing on as an Avon rep. God. I know. Have I sunk this low?

On the other hand, every time I encounter an Avon lady, I order from her. I just can't think of myself as an Avon lady. I mean, every time I go into a restaurant, I order something from the waitress, but that doesn't mean I should wait tables, right?

Well, truth be told, I used to wait tables, a million years ago. Wouldn't want to do that again. You work your ass off for next to no money. If you ever want to hire someone with a proven slave work ethic, find a waitress.

And, more truth being told, about 80 million years ago, I did sell Avon. My cousin and I did it together when we shared an apartment at university. As I recall, it was a pain in the ass. But we only had 1 car between the two of us, and we kept spending our profits on products and we ended up owing more than we sold.

So it seems there are 2 ways to be an Avon rep. One can just be a rep, sell products, and keep the profits. Or one can go the Leadership route and build a team. That's probably where the real money is. But who has the time?

And here's the other nutty thing. I haven't told Eric yet. I can't believe I am posting a secret in a public blog, and that I'm telling the entire world before I'm telling my husband, my best friend, the person I trust more than anyone else on the planet. It's because I know what he'll say - he'll say it's a lot of screwing around, it won't be worth the money, it's a bit of a scam, I'm "above" this sort of thing, Avon ladies are high-school dropouts with mall hair and no career aspirations, Avon is for people who don't have what it takes to get a "real" job, and on and on and on and on . . . that's what he'd say. Well, that's what he WILL say, because the truth will come out sooner or later. It will probably come out when I ask him to take brochures to his office - hee hee!

But! If I can sell some orders and NOT spend a lot on stuff myself, but only buy the stuff we have to buy anyway (shampoo, etc), maybe I can make a little extra money to tack on to our debt payments.

It's worth a shot, right?

P.S. forgot to mention something

Tomorrow I'm taking my citizenship exam.

If I pass it, in a few months, I'll take my oath to become Canadian.

Competing priorities

*blowing dust off blog*

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted! Last week, we went to S. California - went to Disneyland, visited cousins, did the touristy thing at Hollywood, and so on. Before that, seems we were getting prepared for the trip.

So now I'm home, and like I always do when I return from a trip, I'm thinking about all the things in my life that I want to accomplished this very minute, things that I think should already be in place. They rattle around in my head and keep me up at night. There are too many things to accomplish, so I can't even begin. I try to prioritize, but each priority is as important as the next. (So I guess they're not really a "priorities" then, are they?)

I'm going to list them here, but it won't be a complete list. I'll remember more of them later, when I'm not at my computer.

What I really want right now:

A posh home with an enjoyable yard.
A jungle-gym type thing in the back yard for Garielle to play on.
To throw dinner parties in my posh home.
To lose weight & be in shape.
To have a snappy wardrobe, some of which I've sewn myself.
To have a TIDY house!
For my daughter to take dance lessons. (Time is the issue. She starts piano lessons tomorrow night.)

What we need:

A new furnace
A new (or new to us) car - not right now, but at some point in the foreseeable future.
To save money for future trips back to Ohio and for our daughter's bat mitzvah and for future trips to resorts and for retirement

So basically, we have no time and not much money and present & future claims on what money we do have & will earn.

I think what happens is that I draft great plans for myself, but then I lose track or even forget about them!

I should probably go spend more time in "Can This House Be Rescued?"

Oh, by the way, over the past several months, I've lost about 12 pounds. I started a low carb thing last week and lost an additional 3. So truth be told I really am losing weight.

Our nature walk

Yesterday evening, Garielle wanted to go on a nature walk. She asked me to take pictures of things she pointed out.

Here are some shots of Garielle in the park. (This is the park where we released the mouse we caught in the humane trap, as described in my other blog, Can This House Be Rescued. Don't go there if you're squeamish.)

My daughter's plans

My five-year-old daughter has been making plans for her future.

She would like to run an orphanage. She's given this a great deal of thought lately. She's planned most of it out. She says she'll take both boys and girls, probably totalling about 12 kids. She says she doesn't want to have TOO many, because it would be too hard to take care of them all.

She's come up with a list of policies. Every child will get present on his or her birthday. Every child will get to choose what they want to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. No child is allowed to chew with his or her mouth open.

The orphanage will have 2 bedrooms - one very small one for herself, and one huge one for all of the children. The children's bedroom must have a bookshelf full of books. The children won't go to school because she will be their teacher.

She has roles for us to play as well. I'm in charge of cooking, and her father is in charge of lining them up to go on field trips and so on. Also, in the evening, when she wants a night off, I'm in charge of babysitting, and her father is in charge of reading them stories when they go to sleep.

Last night, she even asked me, "Mom, what do I have to do to become someone who can run an orphanage?" I said "You probably need a degree in social work and a degree in early childhood education." "Where do I go for those?" she asked. "You can get them at Mount Royal College," I said.

She fell asleep continuing to think about her plans.

Counting my blessings

It's a hard time for all of our families. On Eric's side, there have been two recent deaths of very good people who were too young, and another relative who is also a dear friend of my mother-in-law's is dying right now. It's supposed to be a matter of days, or even hours. On my side, I have an uncle who has been to hell and back, and then back to hell and back and then, just to make sure it was covered off, back to hell, and is trying to work his way back. And my sister's husband's family is falling to pieces - the mother passed away recently, the father is dispirited and dying, a daughter and a daughter-in-law have been in the hospital, and two sons have had the flu.

My big beefs have been my disgust at what the clothing stores are offering, dissatisfaction with my house, and the fact that we've had housemice. (Read all about that in my blog "Can This House Be Rescued?")

And we're getting ready to go to Disneyland soon.

So my life is pretty damned good.

I'd like to finish an outfit I began sewing awhile back, and then start on some of the vintage patterns I ordered from ebay. Everyone else's lives are full of sturm und drang, and all I can think about are my clothes.

Will Spring EVER come?

So it's April 5. Why, pray tell, is it snowing?

I am sick of all the black winter clothes in my closet.

Well, that's my update. Sorry.

Retro me

So I've been getting my patterns in the mail that I ordered from Ebay. While I was waiting for them, I made it to a fabric store, where I bought patterns and fabric for a tunic, a skirt, 2 shirts, and a pair of pants. I made the tunic - it's splendidly long, covers the tummy nicely and goes an inch below the crotch, which is the perfect kind of garment for lumpy middle-aged women like me. Right now I'm making pants and a top. They're actually quite a bit more stylish and current, but I can control those critical elements, like how much cleavage (if any) is visible, and whether or not the midriff is sufficiently swathed in material.

Tomorrow begins Passover. Every year, I think I'm going to get my shit together for the holiday, and every year, it seems like the weeks and months leading up to it are a mad rush, so the holiday is upon me before I have time to say "Unleavened!"

All we managed to do to prepare for the holiday is buy a box of matzoh. Well, Eric bought the box. I had nothing to do with it.

Thank goodness Eric's mother is still willing to have the first seder. The second night, Eric wants to go hear Arlo Guthrie. And there's still bread and pasta in our kitchen.

For those of you who are curious, Passover takes a heck of a lot of prep to do up properly.

How to prepare for Passover

And in other news, I started two more blogs. As soon as I hit "post," I'll put the links over where the links are. If you don't see them, either I have JUST hit post, or I got called away from the computer.

A few more blogs?

It was suggested to me that I should consider starting a couple of separate blogs that are more topic specific. For instance, someone told me that she enjoys the home improvement stuff, but isn't that interested in sifting through concert & family info to get to it. Someone else said she really looks forward to reading about concerts I've gone to and wishes I'd spend more time reviewing them.

So I think I'll be doing that over the next couple of weeks, and will have links to those blogs here.

Stay tuned!