Friday, May 23, 2014

I'm not making any more frickin' 5-year plans. My adult life is a wasteland of broken promises to myself.

But on the bright side, I've learned a lot and had a lot of fun.

I did realize my lifelong dream of being self-employed. It lasted nearly 2 years. Turns out being self-employed takes a lot more energy than I seem to have. But that's okay. I learned a heck of a lot, and I'm much more grateful for the job I have now than I would be had I not going through the self-employment journey.

Took a road trip with someone recently who talks about creating legacy moments for his loved ones - primarily for his children & his wife, but definitely for his friends too. This is my new resolution - - to create more legacy moments for my daughter (and myself and my husband if he wants to participate). Self-employment depleted our finances and energy, and I swear I aged rapidly. Our "fun factor" in life has gone down too much. I responded by retreated inwards a bit too much. And it seems that my husband and I both tend to equate having fun with spending money - we think we need to take a trip or something. Well, that's not happening this year. We have a bat mitzvah to pay for, and we haven't fully recovered from my Great Experiment (self-employment).

Here are my thoughts along those lines:

- We need to get with friends more often. I don't like to invite people over because our house is too small, is falling apart, and is always a mess. But if I invite friends over, I'll panic and tidy up. So we should invite friends over more often.

- We need to get outside more. Go on picnics. Go swimming. Hiking. Go to the mountains more often.

- We need to utilize our back yard. We've never really used it. We should pretty it up and call it additional living space.

- I need to find ways to engage my daughter in working alongside me on things. We've let her off way too easy in terms of household chores, and now she balks when she has to do the smallest bit of work around the house. I think we've been going about it incorrectly. Instead of saying "Do this," or even instead of offering her rewards, I should just do more work myself and get her to work alongside me. I'll entice her by talking about things she wants to talk about.

Notice I didn't blog about how little I blog in this entry? Oops, I just blew it.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Seriously, this is mostly a blog about how little I blog. So many things have happened in the past few years since I last posted - I'm going to have to post again when I have more time.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

I passed!

Did it. Earned that godfersaken CFRE designation.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Cooking and the CFRE

If you've read back far enough in this blog, you know that I go through obsessions. For the past few months, I've been obsessed with cooking, and with not cooking. (I'll explain in a minute.)

I have cookbooks upon cookbooks, most of them vegetarian. Recently I became interested in the raw food diet, so I invested in a dehydrator. I haven't had much time to play with it, but I have figured out that fruit leather rocks, and flax-based raw bread is disgusting.

Awhile back I started another blog called Big Mom's Crazy Kitchen, but true to form, I've sort of let it lapse too. I want to revitalize it one of these days. I'd like to get a better camera and become a better photographer, because I just love food photography, almost as much as I love the food itself.

I've also been obsessed with work, thinking about work, and thinking about my qualifications as a fundraiser. Tomorrow I am taking the CFRE exam, and I'm appropriately shitted up. I've been in the business for almost 15 years, and I've done a lot of preparing for the exam, but I'm still nervous. I know of many smart people in the industry who have failed the exam.

I'll post an update after tomorrow.

I want to blog here more often, and I want to include pictures. This has become a real yawner of a blog.

It's every example of how not to blog.

1. Post frequently.
2. Post content of interest and relevance to your readers.
3. Don't apologize for not posting. Just get on with posting.

I have so many blog violations! I should go to jail.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

A year later, still being Chandra

I'm the worst blogger ever!!! This once-a-year blogging thing kind of defeats the purpose of a blog.

Well, the women I referred to in my previous post got together a few times, and then people's lives got in the way, and so forth and so on.

This past year has been very busy and eventful. No huge accomplishments, just a lot of day to day business to take care of. I'm getting tired of running my life at status quo. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm going to make some changes. I can't post publicly about them just yet though.

I'll try to post sooner than next year.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Holy moly! I've been Chandra all this time!

Wow! I stopped blogging, and then lost the login info, and never got around to finding it.

It's been 2 years since I've blogged here.

I don't even feel entitled to blog now.

But what the heck, many's the time I've enjoyed something I probably wasn't entitled to, so why should now be any different?

I'm still Chandra. Two days ago I turned 47. I have my family & my health. Life is good.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

What can five smart women do?

I'm about to embark upon a journey with four other women.

It all started after I read The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris, and then The One Minute Millionaire by Hansen & Allen.

It seems that if these two systems could be synthesized, you'd have yourself a perfect system.

Both books are wonderful and horrible. Timothy Ferris could be the perfect genius or the perfect asshole. And if you read the reviews of One Minute Millionaire, one of the biggest criticisms is how they can brag about how ethical their questionable methods are.

I won't give you a detailed summary of each book. Rather, I'm going to identify the points that for me are the most compelling.

In the 4-Hour Work Week, Ferris illustrates the following points:

The most successful people do what they do best, and that's all they do. They don't file, they don't often run menial errands, and so on. Those of us who have been on the bottom rung think this is elitism. But think of it a different way. Those of us who splinter our time between work, family, errands, housework, hobbies, and so on never get really far on any one thing. Even at work, if we have to do a multitude of tasks that divert us from our core purpose (the reason we were hired), we're not going to be as good as we would be if we could devote 100% of our energies to our core purpose.

Two techniques he uses are following the 80/20 principle religiously and outsourcing everything in his life that he doesn't have to do or doesn't want to do.

In The One Minute Millionaire, Hansen & Allen illustrate the following points:

It is far more effective to build wealth through partnerships than to go it alone. When two people with common goals come together, you don't get twice the impact - you might get 4 or 5 times the impact. There are synergies. Both brings their strengths and ideas to the table. And you also get the power of combined & leveraged capital. And of course, you get access to each other's rolodexes, so your networking & connections capacity explodes exponentially. In the book, I believe they formed a group of 4 or 5 people.

When you are in it to do more than just build wealth, and are in it with a higher purpose, the Universe, God, the Divine, etc. is on your side, and again, everything is multiplied exponentially. You get more and better ideas, opportunities open up, your intuition works better, and so on.

So I was talking with a colleague about how much easier it is for rich people to launch their philanthropic ideas. Sure, you can do it without money - you fundraise, you submit grant proposals, you hustle . . . it's a very common way for the common person to launch a cause.

Because we work in a social services nonprofit, we can't help noticing something:

People with good ideas are a dime a dozen. Most of them fall into the "Somebody oughta . . . " category, but there are a few gems who actually work their butts off and get their ideas launched. But for every one who launches a good idea, there are at least 50 people who run into road blocks. They can't find other people who believe in their ideas, or they can't raise enough initial money to get the idea started. Often, good ideas fizzle out because they're just another good idea.

People with a lot of money and good ideas are another story. Where we work, if one of our very wealthy donors comes in with an idea, they also come in with some money to launch it. The success rate is very, very high. Most of our city's very best philanthropic programs came about because someone with money saw the need.

Well, my colleague has grand visions about some societal ills she would like to see addressed.

And as for me, my daughter has been talking for three years - yes, THREE years - about the orphanage she is going to run when she grows up. She's only seven years old, but she's been talking about this in great detail for three years - what the kids will eat, how they'll each get a present for their birthday, how she's going to have a HUGE bed so that the children who are scared can crawl in with her to sleep, etc.

So I proposed the idea to a colleague of mine that we join forces and explore wealth-building. Neither one of us have much to start with, except that we're out of debt and we're employed. I have the advantage of co-owning a home, and being in a marriage that provides another income. (Well, he's worth a lot more than that, but that's another post.) She has the advantage of having access to some immediate capital.

We decided that our first goal was to make ourselves financially independent, meaning that we don't have to work full-time to live, basically. Then we'll turn our attention to building wealth for our causes.

We decided to invite three other women to join us. We're having dinner together next week to talk about the vision and mission of this group. We selected the other three women very carefully. The three criteria were: 1) They had to have some philanthropic visions of their own, 2) They believed in a higher power - God, the Divine, whatever, and 3) We like them.

They each bring talents & skills - one of them is a real estate agent who also has her facilitations certificate and her conflict resolution certificate, the other is a top-notch admin support person who is very close to getting her Communications degree, and the third woman - well, I don't know her that well except that she's sharp, smart, funny, and kind.

Anyway, this ought to be a good adventure, or at very least, a learning experience!

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Corteo - Cirque du Soleil

Last night my daughter & I saw the magical Cirque du Soleil during one of their final Calgary performances.

My daughter's favourite was when the charming Valentyna Paylevanyan performed the helium dance, which is almost something you have to witness in person to believe.



Although the entire show was intense and magnificent, as Cirque always is, I must confess that I enjoyed the bouncing beds acts - I think it's everyone's fantasy to be able to jump on their beds like that!




Monday, September 01, 2008

License to blog

One really ought to have a license for the privilege of blogging.

Take this blog, for instance. This blog would never make it past the application desk. It's totally disjointed - the only continuity in the whole work is the scatterbrained topic-jumping. Oh, and the self-absorbtion. (Absorption?)

The posts are far too infrequent. Most of them are too long. And they're pretty much all about me.

On the other hand, since I'm quite secure in the fact that nobody actually reads this blog, I feel unencumbered by the notion of editorial & judgemental readers. Augusten Burroughs wrote that writers ought to be able to pick their readers. One way to sidestep the problem of pain-in-the-ass readers is to ensure nobody is reading my writing.

Yet, I'm still beleaguered by the notion that I should write something that someone, anyone, other than myself would be interested in reading.

I've started four other topical blogs, but as my interests ebb & blow like the wind, the blogs are abandoned when my interest fades.

It seems the only thing I'm interested in over the long term is myself.

I should work on that.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Somewhere in India, a woman named Lisa wants a hamburger.

It's been too long since I've blogged. I seem to be the queen of launching blogs and abandoning them. Thank goodness I don't parent this way!

Two things:

1) I said in one of my first posts that I have a way of becoming very passionate about a new interest, delving into it 110%, then dumping it like a hot potato for something else. I used to think it was a character flaw, but I'm finally beginning to see that it's just a thing about me, and it's okay. After all, my fleeting passions are always very harmless, and always very fulfilling during my entrenchment in them.

For instance, within the past several years, I've been extremely focused on the following, but only one at a time:

- rubber stamping & card making
- scrapbooking
- tarot cards
- breadmaking
- gardening (this one lasted about a week)
- Flylady (see www.flylady.com for info on what this is)
- walking
- running
- sewing
- shoes
- painting
- retro furniture
- vintage clothing
- dieting/weight loss (I keep coming back to this one)
- particular genres of literature
- blogging (I thought this one should get a laugh.)

So what am I into now?

It began with head coverings. I was momentarily curious about how Muslim women wore their hijabs, so I had a few minutes between things at work, so I googled it. Well, this led me to website after website of extremely fascinating things. There are very conservative hijabs, very elegant and ornate hijabs, very cute & youthful hijabs, and a whole array of accessories from under-hijab headcovers to hijab pins.

This led me to modesty websites - yes, they exist! They're predominantly for Jewish, Christian, and Muslim women.

Then I meandered over to the Jewish sites. I watched a video demonstrating 6 ways to tie a headscarf (tichel), I saw all kinds of snoods and caps, and read articles on why married Jewish women should cover their hair.

And then I bought 5 scarves and 3 snoods.

Here are the snoods I bought: SNOODS

Then I began to look at modest clothing, and I became quite excited. If you know me personally, you know I don't have an easy-to-fit body. I'm tall and I tend to carry my weight in my belly. I have a very square figure. The cute empire waist shirts du jour really don't flatter me - they make me look pregnant. And I really, really need a top to go at least as low as my crotch. If they hit anywhere higher, they jut out at the belly.

Most women's tops at the Muslim sites seem to do just that - they go down nice & low . . .

Which somehow led me to Kurta sites, which are Indian tunics. To see what I mean, go here: KURTI-BLOUSES

And of course, this led me to SALWAR KAMEEZ, which I think is an absolutely beautiful way of dressing.

Which led me to SHOES! With shoes like these, who would be looking at my belly anyway? Check these out: KHUSSA SHOES

Well, then I had to get back to work. But at home for the next few days, I feverishly raked through all kinds of websites and have decided that I need to incorporate some of these elements into my style. Clearly the clothes I want and need are not available off the rack at Sears - ha ha . . .

Which brings me to the title of this blog post.

My name is Chandra, which is a Sanskrit name, and in India, is often all or part of a surname. I knew in my heart that I was a vegetarian before I even knew there was a word for such a thing. My favorite cuisine has been Indian cuisine for most of my life.

(Sideline to brag - two weeks ago, I made naan for the very first time, and last week I made rockin' eggplant bartha. I love me!)

I was born in a small town in northwest Ohio. What the hell is all this about, anyway? One might say I just want attention or I want to be exotic and different and sophisticated - sure, I've wanted those things for my whole Caucasion, Midwestern life.

But these are the real reasons. The real reasons are:

I think most non-Caucasion (for lack of a better word) cuisines totally leave White People food in the dust.

I think most non-Western forms of dress are far more beautiful than the stuff we're expected to buy and wear. Even a plain abaya has a sweeping grace that a typical ladies office outfit can never achieve.

I think revealing styles aren't that attractive. I don't like seeing a woman's leg almost all the way up to her tochus. I don't even like seeing most women's upper arms. I don't like those sleeveless things that allow us to see right into their armpits.

Of course, I believe that attire is a matter of choice, so I would certainly never want society to go all Taliban and demand the complete invisibility of women. I'm merely commenting on my own personal preferences.

So I figure my soul was switched at birth.

Somewhere in India, a woman was born in 1963, and her parents named her Lisa because it seemed hip and exotic. (Lisa was the most common girl baby name in the U.S. in 1963, the year I was born.) And in a small town in Ohio, some American parents felt the same way about the name "Chandra."

Chandra wouldn't eat her meat on her plate, and tried to live on side dishes. Lisa pushed the dal away and demanded a hamburger. Chandra wore long skirts in high school and went through a period where she refused to wear makeup. Her parents worried about her. Lisa insisted on wearing jeans and lipstick. Her parents worried about her.

I wonder if Lisa ever made it to the States.

Okay, that's the first topic. (Remember way at the beginning of this post when I said I was going to cover 2 topics?)

2) It's time for a gratitude check. I'd like to list 10 things I'm extremely grateful for.

Not necessarily in order, but here we go:

1. My daughter. (I'm tempted to list this 10 times.)
2. My health
3. We have plenty of food, and we have access to more food.
4. In this time of rising fuel costs, I can still put gas in my car and go places.
5. We have hot and cold running water. Man, doesn't that make life a breeze! When I start to focus on life's little inconveniences, I imagine what it must be like for people who have to carry water for drinking, cooking, washing, etc. And the water might not even be clean.
6. I live in a country where I can wear what I want. I could wear a burqa if I wanted to. But it would be my choice. No law says I must wear one. I can also wear a bikini (although it wouldn't be pretty) if I wanted to.
7. My husband. He's my best friend and buddy. And he makes really good coffee.
8. Really good coffee. I grew up in an era and a place where nobody knew the difference. We drank instant, fer cryin' out loud. Once you've had freshly ground, really good coffee, you never want to go back.
9. My mobility. I'm feeling the creep of age and severe lack of fitness catch up with me. I need to be grateful for the mobility I have, AND I need to maximize that.
10. My family. Both my side and my husband's. We're very lucky in the family department.

That's it for now.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

It seems like it works.

This law of attraction thing seems to work. I've known about it for almost three years, but it's only in the past several months that I've set about to use it purposely.

I bought a small blank book to write in every time I notice it in action in my life, but I always forget to write in it. But here are some recent things off the top of my head:

1. We traveled to Ohio for the holidays. Expecting to lose a piece of luggage during the complicated layover that involved un-checking our luggage and re-checking it at Customs, I packed accordingly, putting a little bit of everything in each suitcase so that if even if we only got one piece at the other end, we'd all have clean underclothes and something to wear the next day. Eric, however, packed most of his stuff in one suitcase, and fretted the entire first leg about our luggage. That was the piece that was lost.

2. Christmas is the busiest time of year for people in the airline industry. Eric was certain the suitcase was gone for good. His theory is that if it doesn't turn up within the first 24 hours, the odds of finding it are pretty slim. And even if they did find it, they'd have to ship it to Detroit (our final destination) and then somehow we'd have to drive the 2 hrs back to the damned airport, because who was going to deliver it this close to Christmas?

So my sister, her daughter-in-law, and I set about to attract it to us before Christmas. I expressed profound gratitude for having made the journey safely, and then I expressed gratitude for the four pieces of luggage that did arrive. Then I expressed the intention that the missing suitcase should arrive on Christmas Eve.

It did. At 9:30 a.m. on December 24, a driver from the airport knocked on my father's door, bearing the suitcase.

3. Duirng our hectic two weeks in which we traveled back & forth from Ontario, Michigan, and Ohio visiting friends, we managed to see everyone we intended to see and eat what we intended to eat and shop successfully for everything we wanted and to experience everything we wanted to experience.

4. More generally, whenever I remember to attract a parking place before I go somewhere, I always have one. (I often forget to start attracting it until I arrive, and it's too late.)

5. We've reached the breaking point with this house. I decided to attract a better house. Coincidentally, a former colleague & friend reappeared in my life - she's now a mortgage broker. I had coffee with her, and we decided that in 2008, we would do business with her. At first we talked about moving, but Eric really wants to stay in this neighbourhood. So now we have to attract a renovation. It's more than just the money. We have to attract an architect who can help us clarify our vision, and bring wonderful ideas to us as well. We also have to attract a reputable contractor.

So what do I want to work on attracting this year?

I've decided that my two hobbies in 2008 will be health & wealth. Very specifically, I want to be able to run. And I want to grow our wealth while learning to protect the wealth we have.

In the past, I've thought things like "I want to lose weight" and "I don't want to be tired anymore." From now on, I will celebrate and be grateful for the health that I have and attract the initiative to maximize it.

In the past, I've thought "I wish we could get out of debt" and "I wish I were more savvy with money." From now on, I will celebrate and be grateful for the wealth that we really do have, and I will attract the confidence and skills to maximize it.

So that's my story.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The past couple of months

It's been a couple of months since I've blogged. My mind has been a whirl, so I haven't known what to blog about, really.

1. Well, since my last post was about Avon, I'll start there. I meant to quit the whole thing. But every time an order came due, I thought "Well, I'll just put one more order in . . . " so I've basically been ordering for myself. Occasionally, some random person at the office will have an order too.

I know I bashed Avon pretty good in my last post. I think I was in a snarky mood. I think I was just mad at myself for getting myself into yet another commitment, yet another mental entanglement, and yet another diversion from things that I want to focus on.

Of course, at the time, I rationalized it, as I always do. I always find a way to smush my new interests into my 3 areas of focus. I told myself Avon would bring in more money. And I'm sure it would have, if I'd have had the gumption to promote it properly. Maybe it still will. I haven't quit yet. And as it's Christmas season, I ordered extra brochures for this campaign. I'm going to spread them around at work, distribute them in the neighbourhood, and reassess in the New Year.

2. I decided several months ago that I was really going to get behind this Law of Attraction thing to see if it really works. What it has done is to bring to my awareness the number of times during the day that I have counterproductive thoughts. I've always thought of myself as an upbeat, positive person, so I figured if anyone could get a handle on this quickly, it should be me. What I'm realizing is that using the Law of Attraction is simple, but not easy.

For one thing, many of the proponents & promoters of the Law of Attraction (and there are a million of 'em) insist that all you have to do is think about what you want with feeling. No action is necessary. In fact, to embark upon action towards your desires indicates a doubt in the Universe, which will block what you want from getting to you.

Are you laughing? I'm laughing.

However, if you look at the line-up of experts quoted in The Secret (which has become synonymous with the Law of Attraction), you won't find a single one of them who sat on their butts while their successes came to them. Every single one of them has been out there writing, working, developing, networking, thinking, stewarding, fanning the flames, hustling, and promoting themselves.

And if you read their quotes in the book, none of them say that you can just sit around & wait for the ship to come in. You're supposed to be swimming out to meet your ship. But the Law of Attraction is supposed to bring that ship in more quickly.

Anyway, the whole point of this is that although I decided to test the Law of Attraction, I can't offer a valid assessment because I haven't been doing enough swimming.

Or haven't I?

As I said earlier, learning about the LOA has led me to be more aware of my thoughts. And this has attracted other stuff.

For instance, I learned about the Sedona Method. I had heard of it before, and hadn't paid any attention to it. I thought it was just another hot air salesman peddling something New Agey. But I heard about it through an interview at Self Dev Radio, and for some reason, this time, it caught my attention. I downloaded the free mp3 and tried the technique. To my astonishment, it worked pretty well. I have a free package in the mail that hasn't arrived yet. (Mail takes a long time to get over that really cumbersome, geographically complex, high-security U.S. - Canada border, for some reason.) Anyway, I'm looking forward to trying it some more.

It's also led me to meditate. I need to get back into that practice, actually. It does take some time. But I like how it makes me feel.

I think these might be some groundwork kinds of things that I need to allow the LOA to work in my life.

3. And the reoccurring theme of wanting to do "something" has come back. I've often thought I'd like to be self-employed. I'd like it to involve writing, creating, helping others, speaking, teaching, training, etc. I keep coming back to this.

In the past, I would get these notions when things weren't working out on the job. It usually happened when I ended up with a crummy boss. I've ended up with a lot of crummy bosses, for some reason. I've had to ask myself - is it that there are so many crummy bosses in the world, or am I a crummy employee? (By the way, if your name is Sue, Pat, Lana, Carol, Scott, Bernadette, Marcia, Kathleen, or Patti, you weren't one of my crummy bosses. If you don't see your name listed, and you were my boss, well . . . guess what? Oh, for Pete's sake, you weren't that bad, Ken, Kevin, Jin, and that tall red-headed guy at Bob Evans where I was a waitress for about 3 months. But everyone else - bad!)

Here's me as an employee:

- I totally insist on lots of flexibility. I will come in late many days a week. Count on it. I will sometimes come in early. Sometimes I work through lunch. Sometimes I take long lunches. Sometimes I work on weekends. Sometimes I take long weekends. Is this a problem?

- I can't abide micromanagement. Every time I've been micromanaged, I've stalled out. If you didn't see your name listed above, and if your criticism of me was that I stalled out, you just might be a micromanager. You should cut that out.

- I get bored if I'm not allowed to generate & act upon my wonderful ideas. I'm okay if I can't pursue EVERY idea. But I do need to be allowed to play with at least a few of them. (Ditto above. Those of you who kiboshed every single wonderful idea I had, shame on you. You know who you are. *shaking finger*)

- If you piss me off, I will confront you. Bosses don't like that. But I can't work in a pissed-off state. I might as well just go home. I'll just get all passive-aggressive on you if I'm now allowed to confront you. Okay, let's be truthful here: I don't "confront." I "address." I don't just barge into my boss's office and demand satisfaction. I do it the appropriate way. I say "Can we talk?" and I say "Here is my problem with this - maybe you can help me." I don't get confrontational. But I also do not let things fester. If I've been unfairly treated, someone will know about it.

I looked at my list of good bosses and not-so-bad bosses, and I realize that I have had a lot of good bosses. So maybe I didn't attract as many bad bosses as I thought I did. And let me also add that I have been a "people manager" myself, so I know it's not an easy job.

Nevertheless, let's stay on topic here . . .

I always thought about launching out on my own when I've suffered under unfair, micromanaging, pain-in-the-ass bosses. I've always figured that the only reason I fantasized about being self-employed was to get away from bad bosses.

But now I have a wonderful boss who lets me generate as many ideas as I want to - we don't pursue them all, but there are enough to keep me entertained. And I show up & go home just about whenever I want to. (I do keep something similar to standard office hours, but I just flex on both ends and in the middle.)

Yet I'm still thinking "What can I do? What can I do?" I have this itch to create something uniquely my own, and then launch it.

Well, there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about what I've been doing over the past couple of months besides blogging.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I've changed my mind.

I don't want to be an Avon lady.

It was fun at first, when my coworkers ordered from me and I got to sort all the orders into bags, throw in some samples, and then deliver the stuff.

But orders from my coworkers have petered off, and frankly, I don't feel like pestering them with perky reminders to check out their brochure or blah blah blah.

The first few times I went around the neighbourhood distributing brochures was fun, but then it got old.

And it's not about whether or not I can be successful at this. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I persist and if I get brochures out there and follow up and build relationships, I know it can work.

But even if it works, I just don't want to do this.

Why did I want to do it in the first place???

Let me think . . .

Well, it all started when I just wanted to order some lipstick, but then got to thinking, hmmm, maybe this would be a way to earn extra money.

So I thought I'd give it a try.

And I gave it a try. Granted, it wasn't much of a try, but I've tried it enough to know that I'm just not that into it.

Frankly, while some of the products are good, there are too many products that are only mediocre, so I just can't wholeheartedly endorse the Avon brand.

Secondly, I can't seem to shed the notion that Avon is . . . well . . . of a certain calibre. Too many people rolled their eyes at me when they found out I was selling Avon. Too many neighbours that I met for the very first time through Avon now see me as the "Avon Lady." Do I care what they think? Somewhat. Let's just say that as little as I care about their opinions, I care about them more than I care about Avon. So clearly Avon isn't worth it to me.

I feel like I'm letting the woman I signed up under down. She is so very nice & encouraging.

So, if I don't want this, what do I want?

I'd rather spend time on my too many blogs.

Which brings me to my next point - I just love complicating my life. There was no room in my life for Avon, but I brought it in anyway. I don't have enough time to keep up with one blog, so I started 3 more. I have a tendency to launch into things, bite off more than I can chew, and then drop everything! Then after I've dropped everything, I noticed that there's space in my life, so I quickly fill it up again.

I should figure that out.

I've revisited my 5 year goals, and even those are too diverse for me to get a handle on. I need to focus on just one, but when I do that, the other two scream for my attention. For example, when I spend the bulk of my attention focused on health & fitness, our finances seem to teeter on the edge, and then I realize I need to focus on finances instead. So I focus on finances, and then have a health scare of some sort. So then I try to focus on both, and then come to find out I'm not spending enough time with my daughter, and my house is a mess.

I think I need to give things some serious reflection, get clarity on what I want, and then focus on what I want, and just manage everything else.

Even this blog isn't turning out how I wanted. I wanted this blog to be more insightful, maybe more humorous, and certainly not as much of a "Dear Diary" as it's turned out to be.

But maybe a "Dear Diary" format is what I need now for some reason.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

And still more pondering . . .

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the Law of Attraction works.

I really wanted a play structure and a bunk bed. We now have the play structure, but not the bunk bed. We do have a trundle bed now, though, which serves the same purpose.

However, I've had this concern all along about a bunk bed - what if, in spite of the railings, she falls out? What if she's trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night to get to us and she falls? What if, what if, what if . . . ?

So a few weeks ago, she really did fall out of bed in her sleep. She was unhurt but very startled, so she began to cry. After a little hug & a cuddle, she went right back to sleep.

So perhaps my mixed signals to the Universe is what brought the trundle bed to pass, rather than the bunk bed.

A lot of reading lately

As I mentioned in my previous post, my sister bought me the book "The Secret." So I read that, which led to a desire for further inquiry.

This let me to read two Abraham-Hicks books. I was skeptical about Esther Hicks' channeling, especially when I listened to the mp3 files on the site linked above - if she's receiving "blocks of thought" as she says, which she translates into English, what's up with the funny accent?

This led me to the more credible Wayne Dyer, to The Power of Intention and You'll See It When You Believe It, which led me to open my mind to the possibility that maybe Esther is channeling - who am I to say she's not? And interesting that he indicates that he's not impressed with his title of Dr. yet his website refers to him as such.

And this led me to The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist, which is an absolutely transformational book that I highly recommend. I just finished the book today.

Now my mind is a blur.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Law of Attraction?

So my sister bought me a copy of "The Secret" - - not the film, but the book. It's all about the Law of Attraction, which isn't a secret.

(Law of Attraction; Michael Losier; Wayne Dyer; Joe Vitale and others too numerous to mention)

ANYWAY, I decided to put the principles into practice, just for the heck of it.

Yesterday I thought "Okay, let's try something really simple. I'm going for a penny." So I put my request in to the Universe and expressed gratitude for the penny that was coming my way. The whole day passed, and I didn't find a single penny.

Today I delivered an Avon order to a new customer. She paid in cash. The order was $42.44. She gave me $42.45. Her change was one cent. I said "I'm so sorry, I don't have any pennies on me." She said "Oh, don't worry about that!"

On my way home, I realize I'd just gotten my penny.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

1 down (sort of) and 1 to go

The play structure has been delivered today! It's in boxes in our back yard. We can try to put it together ourselves, which everyone assures us will be easy, or we can hire it done.

Because we have out-of-town company coming, and because we really wanted it to be in place by the time they arrive so all the kids could play on it, we're opting to have someone else do it, if we can get it done more quickly. We'll see . .

In Avon news, there were some misunderstandings about my ambivalence towards selling it. Just to be clear, I never said I was lowering myself. What I said was that other people would perceive it as lowering myself. Thanks to everyone who assured me that I'm not lowering myself, but you're assuring the wrong person - I stated in my previous entry that I see it as entirely neutral.

Anyway, who cares, I'm selling it, so there. I use the products, I like most of them, and I love some of them, so it's all good.

Also, recently, I posted a to-do list. I think to keep myself accountable, I'll post it again and include updates. Sorry to bore anyone . . .

Finish trim in Garielle’s room - This might not happen until July. There are other things that I'm more anxious to get done.

Paint that white spot - there's a square of unpainted wall in Garielle's room - she asked me to keep a square unpainted for awhile so she could see the old & new colour. Now she says I can go ahead & paint in that square. Again - July.

Get her a new bed - She has a "new" bed - one of Eric's cousins gave it to her. It's a trundle bed. She's okay with it but disappointed that she doesn't have a bunk bed - hence the selling Avon.

Get a play structure for backyard - It's in our back yard waiting to be assembled - woo hoo!!! Now I'd like to take it off Visa. Again, hence the Avon.

Measure back yard - This is so that I can draw up back yard to scale. See next.

Draw up back yard plans to scale - This is so I can start drafting some long-term landscaping plans. I'm so happy about the play structure that I think I'll just focus for the rest of the summer on cleaning the back yard up.

Hang Garielle’s wall things - Need to paint the trim & paint in that square, as stated above. Again, maybe July.

Decorate wall plates or buy new ones - Ditto above.

Start walking at least 4x a week – don’t stress about distance/speed now. - ha ha ha ha ha!

Start a journal to capture things I want to include in scrapbook – funny things Garielle has said, achievements, reflections, important moments, etc. - Maybe I should start a blog. It seems to be easier for me to capture info on the internet.

Start bat mitzvah savings account - Why haven't I done this? I can do this online. Maybe I'll do that right after I hit "post."

Explore feasibility of Avon as income stream - I'm exploring!

Get house in shape for visitors coming end of month - This is a 20 pt to-do list unto itself!!!

Well, those are my updates. I'm very happy about the play structure, and I'm very happy that I'm selling Avon and will be able to buy my daughter a bunk bed.

Friday, June 15, 2007

More on bunk beds & play structures

Well, my first Avon campaign deadline is next week. I bumped it forward 2 days to give me time to get the order in & to handle any last minute orders.

So far I have 3 orders. I can see I'm going to need to torque up my efforts here. Of course, one could argue that my efforts thus far have hardly been heroic or valiant. All I've done is distribute some brochures quietly to 9 colleagues that I trust and think might be interested. So, three orders out of nine, and nobody refused a brochure.

I think if I want to make serious money at this, I have to be more proactive about finding a customer base, I have to be less apologetic when I approach people, and I have to get into leadership.

With all apologies to Avon and to its many, many fine reps, the thing is, selling Avon isn't exactly something that would make my family proud. It wouldn't make my husband proud either. They would all suggest that I'm "lowering myself."

I have to decide for myself if I'm lowering myself. Am I? Well, truth be told, I'm neutral on it. I don't think it raises me or lowers me - it's just something that is. Clearly what I'm struggling with is that stupid "What will other people think of me?" And that's not like me, because I'm not usually one to care.

I have to focus on why I'm doing this. I want to buy my daughter a bunk bed, a play structure, and then pay off my credit card. Well, actually, we'll buy the play structure soon, but I want to pay it off. The point is, I have noble reasons for doing this.

On the other hand, do noble reasons justify the means? What if I were selling illegal drugs to buy my daughter a bunk bed, a play structure, and then pay off my credit card?

Ah well, Avon products aren't illegal drugs.

And besides, I have a secret agenda. If I do manage to save up for a bunk bed, pay off the play structure, and then pay off my credit card, I could go on to do some other things that I've not had the money for - improvements on the house, travel, and so on.

But first, I must focus on a bunk bed.

When I distributed the brochures at work, I actually stapled a note to the front with a picture of the play structure. At that time, it was just the play structure I was saving for. I don't think an image of a bunk bed would be as compelling, so I might keep doing that (the note with the play structure).

I already have my brochures for the next campaign, and I've already given away 3. So I have 7 brochures, 3 of which I'll give to people who placed an order this time, and the other 4 I'll distribute to the coworkers who seem interested but have not ordered.

But I get to choose the quantity of brochures I want for every campaign after that.

So for Campaign 18, I think I'll hit up my own neighbourhood. Yes, it will be difficult. But I have a plan. I think I'll go around ahead of time and distribute door hangers announcing that there's a new Avon rep in the neighbourhood, and I'm going to be leaving brochures on their doors from time to time. I'll enclose a stamped response card for them to indicate that they do NOT want brochures. If I don't receive a response, I'll assume it's OK to drop off brochures. After all, if they are adamant enough about it to screw around dropping a postcard in the mail, they really must not want brochures, and I'd just as soon skip their house.

It will also include my email & phone number in case they want to contact me directly.

I figure I can do 20 houses this time around, and maybe add 20 each campaign until I've maxed out my walking limit (because I'm not going to drive all over town with gas prices being what they are).

Then maybe I could rotate brochures - it would be expensive to give everyone a brochure every campaign, if they're not ordering, so maybe divide the neighbourhood into thirds or quarters and deliver brochures to these people every 3-4 campaigns.

It might be fun - it would get me out walking, my daughter could do it with me . . .

Eric still doesn't know.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Bunk bed & Avon

So we went to the furniture store and bought a bunk bed. Garielle got to try it out & everything. Then Eric's cousin told him that she had a trundle bed Garielle could have for free - it was her daughter's, very girlie, and hardly used. So we went to have a look. Garielle insisted that she still wanted the bunk bed. Eric couldn't see past the $800 we would save if we took this free bed, but I couldn't see past Garielle's extreme disappointment at not getting a bunk bed.

Eric kept pointing out that we're already spending $2,000 on a play structure - we couldn't very well afford the bunk bed too. (Uh, then why did we buy one?) You can read about the play structure at Can This House Be Rescued.

Finally, I proposed this to Garielle - let's take this bed for now, and as soon as we could afford a bunk bed, we'd get one. I told her that I REALLY wanted her to have a bunk bed and I promised I would get her one.

She agreed.

I still haven't told Eric that I'm selling Avon. He'd shit a brick. But by God, I'm going to sell it and I'm going to make a profit, and I'm going to get my daughter a damned bunk bed. So there.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

June's to-do list

Ø Finish trim in Garielle’s room
Ø Paint that white spot
Ø Get her a new bed
Ø Get a play structure for backyard
Ø Measure back yard
Ø Draw up back yard plans to scale
Ø Hang Garielle’s wall things
Ø Decorate wall plates or buy new ones
Ø Start walking at least 4x a week – don’t stress about distance/speed now.
Ø Start a journal to capture things I want to include in scrapbook – funny things Garielle has said, achievements, reflections, important moments, etc.
Ø Start bat mitzvah savings account
Ø Explore feasibility of Avon as income stream
Ø Get house in shape for visitors coming end of month