It's been a couple of months since I've blogged. My mind has been a whirl, so I haven't known what to blog about, really.
1. Well, since my last post was about Avon, I'll start there. I meant to quit the whole thing. But every time an order came due, I thought "Well, I'll just put one more order in . . . " so I've basically been ordering for myself. Occasionally, some random person at the office will have an order too.
I know I bashed Avon pretty good in my last post. I think I was in a snarky mood. I think I was just mad at myself for getting myself into yet another commitment, yet another mental entanglement, and yet another diversion from things that I want to focus on.
Of course, at the time, I rationalized it, as I always do. I always find a way to smush my new interests into my 3 areas of focus. I told myself Avon would bring in more money. And I'm sure it would have, if I'd have had the gumption to promote it properly. Maybe it still will. I haven't quit yet. And as it's Christmas season, I ordered extra brochures for this campaign. I'm going to spread them around at work, distribute them in the neighbourhood, and reassess in the New Year.
2. I decided several months ago that I was really going to get behind this Law of Attraction thing to see if it really works. What it has done is to bring to my awareness the number of times during the day that I have counterproductive thoughts. I've always thought of myself as an upbeat, positive person, so I figured if anyone could get a handle on this quickly, it should be me. What I'm realizing is that using the Law of Attraction is simple, but not easy.
For one thing, many of the proponents & promoters of the Law of Attraction (and there are a million of 'em) insist that all you have to do is think about what you want with feeling. No action is necessary. In fact, to embark upon action towards your desires indicates a doubt in the Universe, which will block what you want from getting to you.
Are you laughing? I'm laughing.
However, if you look at the line-up of experts quoted in The Secret (which has become synonymous with the Law of Attraction), you won't find a single one of them who sat on their butts while their successes came to them. Every single one of them has been out there writing, working, developing, networking, thinking, stewarding, fanning the flames, hustling, and promoting themselves.
And if you read their quotes in the book, none of them say that you can just sit around & wait for the ship to come in. You're supposed to be swimming out to meet your ship. But the Law of Attraction is supposed to bring that ship in more quickly.
Anyway, the whole point of this is that although I decided to test the Law of Attraction, I can't offer a valid assessment because I haven't been doing enough swimming.
Or haven't I?
As I said earlier, learning about the LOA has led me to be more aware of my thoughts. And this has attracted other stuff.
For instance, I learned about the Sedona Method. I had heard of it before, and hadn't paid any attention to it. I thought it was just another hot air salesman peddling something New Agey. But I heard about it through an interview at Self Dev Radio, and for some reason, this time, it caught my attention. I downloaded the free mp3 and tried the technique. To my astonishment, it worked pretty well. I have a free package in the mail that hasn't arrived yet. (Mail takes a long time to get over that really cumbersome, geographically complex, high-security U.S. - Canada border, for some reason.) Anyway, I'm looking forward to trying it some more.
It's also led me to meditate. I need to get back into that practice, actually. It does take some time. But I like how it makes me feel.
I think these might be some groundwork kinds of things that I need to allow the LOA to work in my life.
3. And the reoccurring theme of wanting to do "something" has come back. I've often thought I'd like to be self-employed. I'd like it to involve writing, creating, helping others, speaking, teaching, training, etc. I keep coming back to this.
In the past, I would get these notions when things weren't working out on the job. It usually happened when I ended up with a crummy boss. I've ended up with a lot of crummy bosses, for some reason. I've had to ask myself - is it that there are so many crummy bosses in the world, or am I a crummy employee? (By the way, if your name is Sue, Pat, Lana, Carol, Scott, Bernadette, Marcia, Kathleen, or Patti, you weren't one of my crummy bosses. If you don't see your name listed, and you were my boss, well . . . guess what? Oh, for Pete's sake, you weren't that bad, Ken, Kevin, Jin, and that tall red-headed guy at Bob Evans where I was a waitress for about 3 months. But everyone else - bad!)
Here's me as an employee:
- I totally insist on lots of flexibility. I will come in late many days a week. Count on it. I will sometimes come in early. Sometimes I work through lunch. Sometimes I take long lunches. Sometimes I work on weekends. Sometimes I take long weekends. Is this a problem?
- I can't abide micromanagement. Every time I've been micromanaged, I've stalled out. If you didn't see your name listed above, and if your criticism of me was that I stalled out, you just might be a micromanager. You should cut that out.
- I get bored if I'm not allowed to generate & act upon my wonderful ideas. I'm okay if I can't pursue EVERY idea. But I do need to be allowed to play with at least a few of them. (Ditto above. Those of you who kiboshed every single wonderful idea I had, shame on you. You know who you are. *shaking finger*)
- If you piss me off, I will confront you. Bosses don't like that. But I can't work in a pissed-off state. I might as well just go home. I'll just get all passive-aggressive on you if I'm now allowed to confront you. Okay, let's be truthful here: I don't "confront." I "address." I don't just barge into my boss's office and demand satisfaction. I do it the appropriate way. I say "Can we talk?" and I say "Here is my problem with this - maybe you can help me." I don't get confrontational. But I also do not let things fester. If I've been unfairly treated, someone will know about it.
I looked at my list of good bosses and not-so-bad bosses, and I realize that I have had a lot of good bosses. So maybe I didn't attract as many bad bosses as I thought I did. And let me also add that I have been a "people manager" myself, so I know it's not an easy job.
Nevertheless, let's stay on topic here . . .
I always thought about launching out on my own when I've suffered under unfair, micromanaging, pain-in-the-ass bosses. I've always figured that the only reason I fantasized about being self-employed was to get away from bad bosses.
But now I have a wonderful boss who lets me generate as many ideas as I want to - we don't pursue them all, but there are enough to keep me entertained. And I show up & go home just about whenever I want to. (I do keep something similar to standard office hours, but I just flex on both ends and in the middle.)
Yet I'm still thinking "What can I do? What can I do?" I have this itch to create something uniquely my own, and then launch it.
Well, there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about what I've been doing over the past couple of months besides blogging.
